August 15, 2012 - Waves of Emotions - One Lump or Two - Delta Brunswick
Things that ground us. I was blessed to have brought my grandkids home from Kansas for a vacation at the Lake House with Nana, Papa so Lindsay could be on bed rest.
Audri & Nana at the Lake House
Ethan & Nana We’re Going to fly to Maine
Our Lake House Vacation in Maine
Below is my response to a dear friend’s email message… I just arrived home from taking the grandkids home to Kansas from their Lake House vacation in Maine. Seeing my daughter Lindsay, Peter, Audri & Ethan. It is part trial\testimony, that I shared before my treatments began for breast cancer August 2012 began.
Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is through the prayers of others that God shines through each day. I arrived home from Kansas Sunday. It has been very busy getting things in place for me to go next Wednesday to have the procedure (lumpectomy) on Thursday. I picked up a sinus\bronchitis infection when I was in Kansas this time before I came home. This is typical for me each time I go to Kansas but God kept me well all summer! I had a wonderful time with my grandchildren (Audri & Ethan) and my daughter (Lindsay) and her husband(Peter). My heart knows that God allowed this sinus infection to happen in order to remind me that I needed to come home. You see for a while I had a taste of normal in Kansas so, I did not want to come home. My family doctor gave me a prescription to take incase this happened, so I had the antibiotics with me and I started it Saturday and finished it today. It will be in my system until they do the lumpectomy on my breast, next Thursday. Actually, my doctor gave me 3 prescriptions as it usually happens every time I go to Kansas in the last few years. I was back and forth this summer, but God's by “amazing grace”, He didn't allow me to need it until just before I was to return home the last time. God is so good to have allowed me this wonderful summer of feeling well until this recent infection. The Lord burdened my heart to call my medical message therapist (Britta) to see if I could get in for an appointment. She does “sinus facial drainage” to prepare me for my trip to Kansas She told me she was booked up until mid Sept., but if any one canceled she would call me. Within a half hour of this, she called me back to tell me that someone called to cancel their appointment and I drove right over and she worked on me! God never ceases to amaze me if we will just listen to His still small voice.
Since I arrived home there have been so many little and big things to do before my procedure. God has blessed me all along the way. At times, I feel His presence and love just wrap themselves around me. Today, for just a few moments some emotions surfaced as I listened to a song... and you & others must have been praying, because this wave of emotions passed. You see, I have no fear of dying, because I know where I will go to spend eternity. As of recent years, I have strongly felt that this earth is not my home and each trial I experience, is a step to prepare me for my journey to my true home with my Lord and Savior. God has been polishing my very soul. What has caused my heart to ache recently, is thinking of my family and all they must go through to walk this journey with me… and the pain it will cause them, if the Lord should choose to bring me home. A Christian friend, Suzanne, called me and when I shared with her she said, "You know how much you love each of them. well Jesus loves them more and He will take care of them." This from a woman whose Mom died of cancer and has personally experienced it’s truth. In those moments that satan tries to shake my spirit, I just remember her words and it brings a peace to my spirit, for I know well it's truth. God has always been there for me each day since I was saved and the trials have just drawn me closer and into a deeper relationship with Him. For this I feel so very blessed.
Satan has continued to try and shake our faith, so we must be doing something right. My husband had a lump removed several months back by the same dermatologist that found the same lump on my breast that ended up being a cancerous lump. My husband's shoulder had continued to bother him, the pathologist report said that they hadn't gotten all of the area of concern\lump out and that my husband needed to go back within two or three weeks to have the rest removed. The day before I have my lumpectomy procedure done, we have to go up early on that morning for the dermatologist to remove the area of concern in his shoulder. This is our anniversary! Please pray that the dermatologist is successful at removing the entire mass this time and that my husband's pathology report comes out good this time. I really don't want my husband as a partner for my radiation treatments! We both continue to be in good spirits and are thankful for the sense of humor that God allows so naturally allows to flow between us. I have told Jamie that he is just trying to out do what I had planned for our anniversary. You see “cancer care” provides us with a hotel room at the Delta Brunswick, the night before my procedure, as I have to be in the hospital by 6:30 am. They also provide our meals. Not the anniversary we had planned but one we are so thankful to be able to spend together. My heart rejoices that satan has lost yet again, as we both just draw closer to the Lord.
Today while I was in the store, God spoke to my heart that I needed to ask the cashier if she had had her mammogram. For a split second I thought really Lord, but then I did as God had requested. I explained that I had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and was having my procedure next week… then asked her if she had had her mammogram. She looked at me in surprise. Then shared with me that her mother, brother and a few other family members had died of cancer and that she had never had a mammogram. She told me her mother had died 20 years ago and that the cancer had gone into her nodes. I explained that things had changed greatly today and that they remove the nodes (if this is the case today) and then I encouraged her to go. Our God is an awesome God! We must learn to carefully listen to His voice for He has many lives he wants us to touch, “no matter what” journey we are on.
My pre-op phone interview is tomorrow, so please pray that all goes well and they do not require me to go to St. John until my procedure. Thank you my friend!!!
My love in Christ,
Paulette
