December 24, 2013 The Night Before Christmas
Dec. 24, 2013 The Night Before Christmas
My Dad, myself & Mom Christmas 2013 Love you Mom and Dad and I am so proud to be able to call you my parents.
It is almost beyond description, what this Christmas 2013 means within the deepest place in my heart. Maybe I need to take you back a moment to last Dec. 25th to understand. Honestly, I do not remember much, other than being in survival mode… not even having the strength to “Face Time” with my grandchildren, but a few minutes. For those of you without an Apple product… that is the equivalent of a live chat with video. We could see each other and talk at the same time. I did not have the strength emotionally or physically to do that. You see survival mode takes all your concentration in order to just get through the most basic things. Sometimes it is second by second; minute by minute or hour by hour BUT day by day doesn’t exist in the land of survival mode. You know that I didn’t even remember that my husband gave me a beautiful set of pearls on Christmas Day last year. How do you ever forget a beautiful gesture like that? You do, because just trying “to be” takes all of your strength. Those are the moments that God says, “Be still and know that I am God.” You know when I discovered I owned these pearls? It was when we sold our house and I was packing my things to move this summer. It is then that I found them; it made me smile & cry at the same time because I realized how far I had come, but it was also a glimpse at what I had missed. In case you were wondering, I am going to wear those pearls for the first time, when we go to “Ever After Way” for Christmas Dinner this year. Where is this divine sounding place you ask? Well it is my Uncle Kevin & Aunt Elaine’s beautiful new log home on Second Gardner Lake. They are celebrating their first Christmas in it this year and we get to be a part of that celebration. It will be exciting for many reasons… can’t wait for us to gather all together for this special Christmas (Shannon, Andy, Dylan, Elaine, Aunt Elaine & Uncle Kevin, my Mom & Dad and my husband). Sorry guys, I just couldn’t resist… for those of you who don’t know… my Aunt Elaine is a year younger than me and my Uncle Kevin is a year older than me. I am looking forward this year, to spending it with some of my family; though I will miss my Kansas connection more than I can say. Part of my heart will be there. Nana will be able to “Face Time” this year though!
By the way Jamie, thank you for your never ending love & support. Also a special thank you to my Mom & Dad for last year, if it had not been for you we would not have had a Christmas celebration. We celebrated it way early, because I was to start my new chemo drug (taxotere) and had been given the heads up that I might be having a rough ride after receiving it. This is my Dad and I last when we were celebrating Christmas early. I told him he needed to have his picture taken with me because it would be the only time that he had more hair than me.
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This picture was taken before I had that treatment and that fourth chemo treatment was just as they promised & then some! Ask the ambulance attendants who took me to the ER a few days after Christmas in a Blizzard. My prayer on the way there was, “Please Lord, don’t let them send me back home. Please let them keep me there… I am so sick.” Critical Care it was for a few days & then shifted to the regular part of the hospital, which is where I rang in the New Year of 2013. You might wonder why I just shared all that with you… well painting a word picture for you might help you to begin to understand why I am so grateful for this Christmas. For those of you who can't let the words create a picture, let the photo speak to your heart.
You see, each of us has a story to tell and much to be thankful for. Listening is a skill that teaches you much; BUT to truly listen… you must take your eyes, ears etc. off of yourself and really focus with your heart on someone else. Those of you who are honest will admit that this is a skill that we often have to teach ourselves and it takes LOTS of practice. It is a skill, that my treasured friend Cindy is very good at… and let’s just say that the Lord is still working on me in this department! I challenge each of you to take a few moments to listen to someone. Then to reflect back on this last year and think about what you have to be grateful for. One thing that we must never lose focus of is the true meaning of Christmas… it is NOT about us, it is about the birth of God’s son baby Jesus. No greater gift has ever been given. He was born to die for us, so that we might have eternal life in Heaven. It is a free gift, but with great cost, so that we might have the freedom to choose to accept this gift. We all have freedom of choice. Life is filled with mixed emotions… peaks and valleys, but the one constant still remains and that is the offer of the unconditional love of God that He gave us through His son. Take a moment to focus, really focus, and remember the gift that we all have been so freely given, yet at such a great cost. Christmas is a season filled with emotions… some are for those we have lost; some for those who are lost; some who are ill and it is mixed with counting our blessings. I also challenge you all to tell each other one thing you are thankful for, as you sit around your table to enjoy your Christmas dinner. For me, I could write what seems like forever for what I am thankful for… just to think what God has brought me through in my life, to have me arrive where I am today is almost beyond comprehension. Some of you who know me best, know more of the depth of this truth than others. Well I am thankful for the family of God who prays for each other because that is why I am still here today to celebrate with those I love this Christmas. Thank you again to each of you who prayed & chose to walk my journey with me and have helped me arrive to the beginnings of finding “my new normal”. Many today are without power and cannot cook your Christmas meal, yet you still have food and a home… pray for the homeless & hungry. Others have loved ones that are so sick and some in the hospital… be thankful for the health that you have and pray for those who are hurting. I love you Aunt Joanne, Uncle Arthur, Davine and Mary… you are inspirations and held so close to my heart and in my prayers. All of us have loved ones that have gone on before us and we miss them so (my husband’s mother [Grandma as we all called her] & his father, Grammy & Grampy Stevens, Grammy Snow… oh the list could go on at such length, as I know each of yours could. Today I was told that I had lost another friend that I had come to know during my battle with cancer and it reminds me in the deepest part of my soul to be beyond thankful for those I have. Ethel thank you for calling, I loved talking with you today. Keep up the good fight… I love you and am praying. This year instead of sending out cards… the money is being taken to make a donation to the U.S. and Canadian Cancer Societies. It is in special honor of my Aunt Joanne & my dear friend Mary who are battling cancer. It is in recognition of those fighting this battle like Carla and in memory of those we have lost to this disease (Jamie’s Dad, Bernie, Pat & now Evelyn) Merry Christmas to all and don’t lose focus of what is most important this blessed season. Though everything may not go as planned or be what you expected still enjoy each of the moments that God has given you. You are surrounded by many blessings if you just look. If you'd like to see a Christmas miracle just look at the picture below. It is me and my Dad this Christmas Eve 2013. Go back and look at the picture above and know that God has brought me far and I praise His name.
