Dandelions are flowers too - 2/22/2025
Remember what some called weeds, like Dandelions?
Jamie Matthews’ mother (Grandma) always said that, “Dandelions are flowers too”.How does your internal thermostat run? Hot…Cold… or perhaps it runs both. Recently I was hot and Jamie was cold. Does that ever happen in your house? In our apartment the sun is a free source of heat. Honestly it really warms our apartment well, even during the winter.
Me: “Do you want to open the window? It’s hot in here.”
Jamie: “It’s not hot in here.”
Me: “Jamie, the thermometer says that it’s 75 in here. Maybe you should stand up.”
Jamie: “I don’t want to stand up.”
Me: “But it’s warmer up there.”
Jamie: “Maybe you should lay on the floor.”
Me: “I would but I can’t get up.”
Jamie: “I’ll bring your lunch.”
Me: “We could have a picnic.”
Humor, doesn’t fix everything but it helps. In reflecting on this deep, stimulating conversation… Well I couldn’t get down on the floor either. As my knees seem to think that they are old. Jamie is making lunch right now. To be continued… any suggestions for us? Oh, if you don’t see or hear from me for a while, maybe you should come help me get up off the floor.
Please remember, despite what you are going through, that you can make all the difference to someone else’s life today…
Throughout my life some of you have heard me call Jamie, “My Sea Captain”. He never did care for when I said that phrase, because the term “sea” meant something different to him, than it meant to me. Surprise! We do disagree sometimes.
Our guardian angels may have to acquire a whistle to referee us. I wonder how black-n-white stripes go with wings? 
Jamie used to make his living from the sea. When his yearly fishing season came to an end… let’s just say the kids & I were more than excited! This excitement was so real that it couldn’t be contained by the kiddos… not even around our kitchen table. Our supper meals were always a time that everyone shared. As much as possible, I wanted us to all sit around the kitchen table together share a meal and about our days. When he first got home, I sometimes would sit back and watch him, as our kids performed acrobatic actions through, fulled by the energy of their excitement. One time when we were sitting around the table, with a grin plastered on my face… I leaned on my elbows… looked across the table at Jamie and said:“Welcome to my world!?!?” Yes, my tone and expression were both priceless too. Maybe even on the edge of being sarcastic, if you can believe that’s possible.
Don’t get me wrong, because I truly LOVED being a mother. In some ways I was a kid too, because all the while I was learning about being a Mom too. Jamie’s off season was when he would step back into being an “at home Dad”. No more help was needed because Dad had swooped in for the rescue. We all seriously LOVED having him home! When the honeymoon phase was over, Jamie & I came to learn that things would shift in the beginning of his season off. You see in his absence, I had perceived that I was the captain of the our ship called “Home”. During this transition sometimes the tectonic plates rubbed together causing a disruption and occasionally a small earthquake that registered on the Richtar Scale.
Don’t worry we have both survived to tell the tale.Though I perceived myself as captain of our ship called “Home”… no interviews were held, no training given for this position and it was a mandatory daily choice. I chose joy with it. The mother\teacher in me kicked into action and I did my best. It was FAR from perfect, but I tried to fill it with love. Those married to a fisherman who is away a lot understand. I remember thinking a few times that, “I wish all I had to do was go to work and work”. A little tinge of jealousy perhaps mixed with envy and fatigue were in my thought pattern. At times it actually felt like I was being a juggler, gone wrong, in the circus. If I hit you with any of the juggling clubs I am so very sorry! It’s also not good when you have the “perfectionism” gene
too. Anyone else have some of those genes? My life has taught me to ask God to help you rid yourself of them, because there is no such thing as a perfect human! It was a lot to navigate on so many levels and especially if the kids got sick… Then it became a whole new kind of circus. 
No more juggling act for me, because I had been throw onto the flying trapeze show with NO training now. 
Just so you know, I am afraid of heights too. 
I use to tell people, “I don’t have time to be sick.”
I am sure that I am NOT the first person to have shared that sentiment. It’s NOT a healthy frame of mind though. You see we all need time to stop, take a breath, refresh… have a soft place to land throughout the chaos of life. This is how we heal our mind, spirit & soul. Even if it’s just a bath after the kids go to bed or reading a book or your Kindle and falling asleep with it in your hands. God created the world and gave us his example to follow in the book of Genesis.
It says, “By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all His work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it Holy, because on it He rested from all the work of creating that He had done.” Genesis 2:2-3 NIV
Through time I learned who the real “captain of our family ship, “Home” was, Jesus. For a while, Jamie & I were in the running for this captain position. Let’s just say our resumes weren’t accepted.
It was a hard fought battle to willing, truly place Jesus at the helm. The teacher in me had a controlling spirit at time and a touch of the “I can fix it” attitude. With ADD there were many rabbit trials too… of course the kids probably enjoyed those adventures as I was truly a kid at heart. You know one of the ones when you were taking the kids to a country fair and came home with a puppy WITHOUT asking your husband first?!! Kids one & won that day & Mom zero. Those sweet little eyes could cast a lot of spells on this mother’s heart. Actually, I think I still am a kid at heart but just not physically. My body reminds me of this humbling truth. Pain is a good teacher because it gets your attention. Have you ever had one of those crash landing reminders?
Besides the joy, laughter and many blessings… well in my life there has been many trials by fire
, storms 
, tsunamis, earthquakes, floods with streams of tears through a broken heart which at times appeared seeming impossible, to reconcile. Not forgetting those many sleepless nights that I came up with my grand scheme’s of how I could “control” or “fix” the situation\s. In all this mix I had many real health issues. Honestly, I became use to the fact that strong health was just not part of my journey and I rolled with it the best I could. By the grace of God I had two Friend’s who stepped up to the plate when it came time to transport our kiddos to school etc. If I happened to be sick that morning, they would switch out with me & I could pick the kids up after school. Thank you Mary Cook and KevandPat Mitchell. We were a tag team trio. Then there was Gina Denbow and also Grandma, who knew just what to do because she had been a fisherman’s wife too. She would come up & watch the kids so I could take a walk! And there were overnight stays with the grandparents too. Miss you Grams & Gramps and Grandma. Not forgetting to mention MFSIL, who branded us with her quilt love. God pulled the preverbal rabbit out of the hat every time! At one point I was so sick that I lost 12 pounds in two weeks. Undiagnosed Celiac Disease can take a toll on a life, in its own unique categories of unexpected surfacing ways… especially when you don’t know you have it for 42 years! During all of these seasons in my life, miracles did happen BUT ONLY IF I FULLY TRUSTED God. This meant following His will and NOT mine, no matter how counterintuitive. Believe me there was some truly unbelievable, crazy, divine things that happened. There were powerful lessons taught in the process and God kept drawing me closer each time, as I continued to learn to fully depended on Him. The divine transformations take place when circumstances were anything but easy. One miracle has been being held by Jesus, when I just couldn’t walk. This is almost an incomprehensible response by God when I’ve cried out to Him. YET, it was\is worth it all every time! If you stop, you can get glimpses of God in the most minute details of your life. Our lives truly are a tapestry which threads are all intertwined & woven in the most incredible ways. Only IF you will take the time to look for these God moments will you see those golden threads. Keep your eyes opened wide to see the rich beauty of God. It’s more fun than hunting for geocaches and much more valuable when you spot them. It’s transformative! Dandelions are flowers too, right Grandma.
He will use us, instruct us and refine us, IF we are willing. When is the last time you have allowed God to teach & refine you? Most of us by nature don’t like change. It is a blessing when God allows us to be used for His divine purpose, but you truly need to go with the flow and it takes the deepest faith to do this. We need to have the right perspective because we can be the hands & feet of Jesus to others because we’ve walked through those valleys ourselves, with God and He’s taught us much.
Have you ever questioned God in some of the hardest moments? How about like saying to God things like, “Really God, me?” “Seriously God?”
Have you made excuses? Chances are that I’ve used them all before myself, within my life span. And I’m sure some more than once. Have there been times that you regretted not acting, when God has nudged you to do something? Can you remember a time when it’s just been too late because you didn’t listen? Those painful experiences can be stark reminders of what is most important. God can use these moments to teach us, IF we are willing. Not sure about you, but I feel, in the deepest place of my heart, that it’s a good thing that God loves me unconditionally. He doesn’t need to use me. He loves me enough to use me and to transform me to be more Christ-like in the process. He doesn’t do that with us looking on from the shore. It is a “required participation” water sport and it requires you to step OUT of the boat of your faith into His will and His way. Even when it is beyond the hardest thing you’ve ever imagined, it can be a blessing. Those are the times that I call “Dancing in the Deep with God”. Oh Friends, that doesn’t mean surfing! It means having faith enough to step out of the boat into the deepest, unknown, roughest waters you’ve ever been in before. All while fully trusting God to keep your head above the waves! After you have been able to take a deep breathe with God as your oxygen… well then I have found it to be the best time to just be in His strength and ask:
“What do you want to teach me while I am here?”
Break every chain that is holding me back!
Help me to do Your will, Your way and ACCEPT your timing for everything. God, do the miracle that everyone will know that the only way it was possible was through you! Help me to hold fast to You being my only anchor of faith. May it all be for Your glory, even when I don’t understand through my tears. Just incase you missed that, “It’s all for HIS GLORY and NOT ours.” Honestly, the world seems to have this in reverse. I don’t know about you but I want to move forward one step at a time in Him. Accept that you may NEVER fully understand why, until you get to spend eternity with our Lord & King. At some point you will come to the true realization that understanding why DOESN’t really matter. Stop & think about that for just a minute. God has the Master plan. You know, when you walk those streets of gold… and lay down your crown at Jesus’ feet that “eternity” is what matters! Praise will matter! As Trish Parker said at the worship, prayer & praise night, “This is just practice down here.” What you have you done for the Lord to increase His Kingdom’s Glory, Friends, that’s what will matter! The question right now is, what matters to you now? It will all make perfect sense on the other side. How about being totally free in God, while we are here? Oh the “Hippie” in me so loves this concept! Remember to let go and let God each day. What does it look like to be free indeed? That is a question you will have to learn the answer through your life’s experiences, as only you know what is holding you back. And when you don’t, just ask God. Will you make mistakes? YES & PLENTY of them! Don’t get stuck in guilt & shame because that is where satan would love to keep you. Seriously, DON’T do satan’s work for him. It is beyond exhausting and a total waste of time. If you want to wrestle with God, go ahead and try it. I’ve done that plenty of times. Believe me when I say that it is a TOTAL waste of divine, valuable time & energy. If we’re too tired from wrestling with God, we will miss our opportunities to be His hands & feet to a hurting world. Do you really want to miss that transforming opportunity? Come join the circus with me and you will learn how to fly on the trapeze all while dancing in the deep with God.
This past few weeks has been time mixed with tears, joy, loss, laughter & a slap of some stark realities. I may go off for a little bit on this next part because it is emotional for me. My dear treasured, beloved Friend & next door neighbor passed away, ***Joanne Brown. Since we moved into this apartment I’ve had the blessing of knowing her. I could just walk across the hall to visit and oh so many visits we have had. I also had the blessing of being adopted into her beautiful family by her special children Sandra Brown, Susan, Jim and Peter. I volunteered to be their resident photographer at times and LOVED every second of it. Capturing those special moments and memories was such a blessing. It was an honor to be her neighbor and have her across the hall as my “best friend”. Joanne had much wisdom and we prayed about and openly talked about everything. Age is a concept that I never comprehended… age makes no difference in my mind. It has been a sad time and I will forever miss her but was so blessed to have had her in my life. The picture above is Joanne & I, when I was teaching her what a “selfie” was. There is always something new to learn if you are willing.
We all have a story. Take the time to learn someone’s story, even if it is only for a few minutes at time at your appt. each time you go. I loved getting to know Dr. Bugwandin (Teddy Bear) this way. Remember the manners you were taught and always say please & thank-you. Polish it off with a warm, sincere smile. Most of all remember to be the Arms, hands & feet of Christ.
As for me, I received my CT & Bone Scan results recently. Strangely enough, my Bone Scan said it was unchanged from 19NOV2024 and said I was stable. BUT my CT Scan showed changes in my 8th & 9th ribs, L4 vertebra & pelvis. My oncologist said that this sometimes happens… that they show up on one but not the other in some patients. Again, I get to be medically unique. It seems to be my trademark. My oncologist also clearly stated that these were “slow changes” and NOT in any new areas. She also said that ribs often heal on their own, even when cancer is involved, so we don’t have to jump in & do anything at this point. Jumping is not my gifting these days anyway. God prepared me and I knew there were changes in those areas by the changes in pain levels I had experienced over time. For now the pain has levelled out & I have something incase that changes. She said we will keep an eye on it. Do I understand all the results? No! I am not officially a doctor but I feel I am close in the running to become one on this journey. Those on a cancer journey and\or their care-giver do understand this statement. My oncologist questioned whether I was getting my Faslodex injections & I told her that I had them every 4 weeks like clockwork. In my minds eye, the long & short of it is that the injections & natural therapies may not be working as well as they were when I had my last two prior scans. I am a frequent flyer as I get those scans every 3 months. PLEASE COULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE ARE MY FREQUENT FLYER MILES?
On the same day, I also found out that my oncologist was transitioning to a different position. Guess you could say I had lost two key doctors in my journey in one week, as Dr. Bugwandin, my family doctor, passed away. I am so grateful that God allowed me to have him. Extra blessing is that it also gave me Joana& Diane. Do I focus on the negative? NO! I try to focus on the positive and keep Jesus first in line, as He is the way, the truth & the life on my journey. Remember I keep telling you it’s all in your perspective. So here are the positives.
Last Jan. 11th 2024, I was told I had months and it is 1 year, 1 month and 11 days later. (But who’s counting?!) Surprise, I am STILL here.
The cancer has not gone to any of major organs. The area in my breast & has shrunken over time along with some other things.
It is good news that God is in control and the Captain of my family ship called, “Home”.
It is a very rich blessing that I have Jamie as the co-pilot. After all He does have LOTS of valuable experience at sea. You might guess that I continue to still be a real piece of work at times.
Jamie got to see Wade and I got to see Wade & Trish when I went for my appointment. What a HUGE blessing! As many tests & appointments as we have had, it is the FIRST time we’ve all been at the hospital at the same time. You will see a picture of Trish & I above. I also saw Cyndy Greenier who is on a journey with cancer with her husband Danny. Cindy & I worked together at CICS. Getting to see someone you know while at the hospital is a blessing. I also got to pray with some treasured Friends that I cherish & with some I had never met for the first time. Trust me He can use you, bless you & teach you where you are no matter what journey you are on.
Please lift the people I have mentioned up in prayer today. It only takes a few minutes of your time. God has the details. Remember you can make all the difference in someone else’s life today, despite what you are going through.
You were right Grandma!!! Dandelions are flowers too! They are NOT weeds. Some days you may feel like a rose and other days a dandelion but they all have equal value in God’s plan & kingdom. Dandelions feed the bees
. The bees pollinate the flowers. You can use the dandelion leaves to make a salad. Did you know that all parts of the dandelion are edible? Within the last few years, suddenly what was a weed became don’t mow your lawn month so the dandelions could save the bees. After walking in the valley, you will someday reach the mountain top and be able to look at the valley below and see that God was indeed planting seeds through your pain, sorrow & tears. I like to think he used some of those tears to water those seeds so they could blossom and grow. Did you know those dandelion seeds can spread five miles on a wind swept day to bring new color & life wherever they land. All in God’s perfect timing. Some of use feel “less than” at times because we have believed the lies of what others have said to us but we are all beautiful in His time. Know that we can all change the life of those God places in our paths if we choose to do so. 
Thank you seems an understatement for the gift of your prayers. There just are no adequate words to thank you. You have touched the very Throne of Grace with your precious whispers. May God continue to bless you in His time and way\s.
ps God has given me wonderful Extra Mural nurses on my journey. I know God placed Sam, my current nurse, in my direct path because He knew when & why I would need her at this exact time on my journey. I now have a family doctor. This is a miracle! I will miss my precious family doctor that I had, but am so grateful for God’s rich provision. God knows what we need, why & when we need it. Praising the Lord for His provision & goodness through His master plan
