Look Ma! No Hands! - 03/11/2024

 

How many of you had the experience of saying: “Look Ma! No hands!”, when riding a bicycle. 

Do you remember when there were just times that you COULDN’T be quiet as a child?  Well God has times that He asks us NOT to be quiet.   For example, in the Bible it says, “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”  Luke 19:40.   Here is a passage where God is inviting us NOT to be quiet.  (It should also be noted that these words were written in red, as they were spoken by Jesus.)  Is it time for you to make some noise?   I have ADD & I use to be a cheerleader so that comes naturally for me.  The question is… will you make some spiritual noise to honor God?  It is a lot different than the earthly noise satan creates daily in our lives.  Maybe that expression, “Can you hear me now?” , could be applied to our spiritual walks.

One Sunday, when I was blessed to be able to go to church, I just wanted to be able to stand to worship & praise the Lord during one of our Worship Team’s praise songs.   Thank you to Jamie for the assist that helped me stand & I was so GRATEFUL to have been able to do that.  As Angela taught us, we are to sing our praises as if we are singing to “an audience of one, God”!!!  That is a deep concept to which God has given us each a personal invitation to do.   Our worship team and the other worship teams that I have been blessed to hear through the unity of our churches, truly readies my heart to receive the message that the Lord has for me to receive.    On this journey with cancer, there are deep spiritual blessings, which in turn can root out what needs to change within us.  As I have been unable to get to church various times, I NO longer take for granted the privilege of being able to attend church.  My heart has a whole new concept of gratitude around being able to have those moments to stand & freely offer my praises to God, who is my audience of one!  

   For me I have realized how profound the gift of these blessed, rich, moments truly are in a very soul changing way!  In reality what saddens me is to think that there were times in my life that I didn’t worship this freely.  You see other things were on my mind, like processing circumstances that should not have occupied God’s space in my life.   There were times I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed to go to church.  If we are honest, we all have these moments.  When I had a season of NOT being able to attend, it gave me a divine glimpse of the depth & the true privilege it is.  It all has deepened the concept of many spiritual things.  Hey, who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”!?!  I am relieved & blessed to say, that God is NEVER done working on us, until He takes us home to be with Him.  In this broken, fallen world, we need Him more than we can fully comprehend, until the valley’s come & we are willing to sit at the Master’s Feet to learn.  He can teach you many divine tricks, no matter how young or old you are.  The Bible reveals to us that, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  Hebrews 13:8  He NEVER CHANGES and gives us ALL an OPEN ENDED INVITATION to allow Him to TRANSFORM us, IF we are willing to do the Holy hard work.  I do caution you to remember that He does not say that it will be easy.  One of the harder concepts to comprehend is that God can truly use all things for good.  If you have made it to other side of a valley with God, then you know what I am speaking of.  God does actually hear our hearts and knows our heart-felt desires.  When our desires align with His plan, then in His perfect timing & way, He will answer.  If you have time to stop and pause, then read how God continued to use one moment of being able to stand and freely worship Him that continued to change me. 

It has been such a blessing to have Extra Mural come to our home instead of having to go out all the time.  I also have been blessed to meet two wonderful nurses & my occupational therapist in person so far.  My OT has greatly helped by recommending how to accommodate for my current needs within our home.  It truly is the simple things that can make a difference.  Jamie is always on top of things, so first recommendation done immediately, he lowered our bed.  What a HUGE difference doing this made for me!  My OT gave me a small bed rail that allows me the extra support needed to keep my independence when getting in & out of bed etc.  She made several recommendations that have helped & some we are still working on getting in place.  Also I have received two phone calls from my Physical Therapist and am looking forward to meeting her in person too.  Last time we spoke, I questioned her in depth about what my restrictions were.   I had actually been inquiring about past PT exercises that I use to do in bed many years ago and if I would be allowed to do them again.  I listened carefully when I spoke to her and she told me that if things didn’t hurt that I could do them provided that they did not wear me out too much physically.  From my perspective that was giving me permission to have the freedom to try things now that I am on medication daily to manage the nerve pain.  Slowly through time, God decided to take this to a whole new and unexpected level for me.  After all He is the #1 physician in my book.  I must say that I am blessed to have a wonderful family doctor who has two very special assistants,  Diana MacDougall & Joana that I cherish too!  You have heard me speak of the praise for my oncology team members before.  My palliative care doctor is wonderful too.  God has blessed me indeed. 

One day when I was in the bathroom, God told me that I needed to try to strength my leg by standing on it for longer lengths of times.   That was the beginning!!!  I know my left leg doesn’t feel like my right leg, BUT I think God is teaching me to do amazing things despite these changes.  A week or so later, God told me to try to use the cane again to get from the sink to our toilet instead of the walker.  At this point, I had been unable to use the cane for a while.  I knew if God was telling me to that I just needed to trust Him.  Next, one day in the bathroom, He told me to try and take a few steps on my own!!!!  There were plenty of things to support me should I have needed them for those first steps hands free.  The PT’s restrictions were that I could try things as long as it wasn’t painful & it didn’t wear me out physically.  Honestly, I can’t fully express how excited I was to be able to take a few steps without even a cane!! I also couldn’t believe that I was not in pain doing so.  From being in constant pain most of the time… and being restricted to the walker & wheelchair… to the complete REVERSAL of being able to take some steps on my own independently with NO pain.  Only God!!!!  All I could think was, “Look Ma!  No Hands!!”

My big news is, that when I am in the apartment on even ground, that I am  able to take ever more steps without assistance now!!!  I mean NO cane, NO walker and NO wheelchair at times.  In addition, I can now get my own showers & dress myself again too!!!  No rocks will cry out as I am full out praising the Lord for these glorious gifts.  I now only have strong pain if I move in a wrong way or push beyond what I should do.  It is so amazing to be able to roll from side to side in my bed WITHOUT pain now too!!!  Praising the Lord for His going before me to make a way, for what I had not even expected.  Don’t you love some surprises?  Thank you for the gift of your prayers.  Now maybe you all can have a glimpse into the HUGE difference your prayers have REALLY been making.  Not having the intense pain is such a HUGE BLESSING and has been opening some unexpected doors!!!!   Yes God has a way of humbling us & getting us to fully trust in Him in unique ways.  It is easy to forget what our daily blessings truly are when we have sadly come to have take them for granted.   You have heard people say, “You never know what you’ve got until it is gone.”  There is powerful truth in those words that God had to reveal to me on this journey. 

Oh, I have teased Jamie when he was unententionally leaving the walker just out of my reach, BEFORE I could take steps.  Or was it?  

I would look at him and say, “Really Jamie?  Do you think I can reach the walker?”  Then I would chuckle.  Remember that Jamie has had a lot he’s been keeping track of these days.  Including the full set up for “The Bottom’s Up Cafe”.  Today I caught him over filling those coffee bottles.  Hum… remember that revenge can come in all forms.  

 Actually, I’ve been thinking  it over now.  Do you suppose maybe he was teamed up with God who wanted me to take those first steps?

When my palliative care doctor & nurses have come to visit me, they all have asked me a couple of common questions. 

“How is your appetite?” 
“How is your weight?”
“Have you had much nausea?”


My honest response has been:
“Well I think my coffee ice-cream addiction (with all the toppings) along with my cheetos & potato chip habits have helped sustain my weight really well.” 

Then I laugh aloud & tell them I am not nauseous very often and proceed to explain that the medication for the nerve pain stimulates my appetite & I eat well.  Jamie is a good cook so it is not all junk food.  Since doing better, I have joined in some basic cooking at times with Jamie,  Kate’s wheelchair is just the right height at the table to work.  It’s also perfect to sit & type to you all. 

Now you may have guessed that I am no longer on the strict Hope 4 Cancer Diet, though I must still strictly adhere to my gluten free & peanut free restrictions.  You see I have Celiac Diseases & I am allergic to peanuts.  That is a piece of cake compared to when I had to incorporated the Hope 4 Cancer diet with them.  Hum, I think we need to bake a cake or at least cupcakes.    So I’ve heard said in the past, “I feel like I am eating, high on the Hog”.  Wait, I think I need to try some bacon!    I’m sure you’ll all agree that bacon deserves its own food group too.   

It is a good thing we have an APP to help Jamie find gluten free foods in the grocery store.  Speaking of the store, Jamie took me with him to the Trade Winds Store in Calais last week.   I hadn’t been since at least last Novemember.  I was equipt with my wheelchair & read to roll.  Oh I was having a grand time but Jamie had restrictions on me that I didn’t expect.  He imposed a “Cold Bag limitation” on me.  Smart man!  First mistake, he took me to the store when I was hungry.  It was like being a kid again.  “I want one of these and one of those etc.”  Well you get the picture.  I did score some good finds though! 

Though I still require a wheelchair for longer distances; if my leg or my body is overly fatigued.  I had a new “cry freedom” moment at our last Sunday morning chruch service.  For the first time, I used a walker to get around.  What may seem like simple gains to you, well to me feels like a real miracle.  It used to truly take everything I had to try to take a shower with help or to try to stand for even one song in church.  What has happened now really is a true demonstration of God’s mercy & grace AND the power of prayer!!!  I am praising the Lord and counting my blessings!!!!  So grateful for each of you & the gift of your prayers.  Never forget that PRAYER CHANGES THINGS! 

This past Friday, Jamie took me to Fredericton.  The last time I had taken a ride to Fredericton was last April, when I had found out unexpectedly, that my cancer had metastasized to my bones.  Jamie wanted to take me out to eat that day & in my head, I said no I didn’t want to go…. BUT God said, “Yes you do,” so I went.  That was a Holy moment in time. Actually that whole day was, as God had allowed Jamie to be home from the boat to take me to that life-changing appt.   Also long ago, I had something I had shared with God that was my hearts desire to get for my children & grandchildren.  You approach things in a more intentional way when you realize that your time is truly limited on this earth.  Really I am not different than you other than I am truly aware of this concept which allows me to freely approach each day like it was my last.  God allowed my hearts desire to happen when we went this past Friday!!!  He also allowed us to see some dear family & friends this past week that some of you may know.  We went back to the same restaurant this past Friday night to eat again & truly counted our blessings to be able to do this with a deeper perspective yet again.  As I said earlier, the Bible tells in Luke 19:40 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet , the stones will cry out.”  May we never let the stones & rocks cry out instead of offering our testimony & praise to our Lord & King.  DON’T be quiet!  What can you do or do you need to say or do to praise the Lord today?  What blessings will you take time to count this cloudy day?