Oct. 6th, 2025 Hospitals, Peaks, Valleys and Gratitude, Meeting Squiffy, Homemade Chicken Soup and Happy Little Trees

 

Hospitals, Peaks, Valleys and Gratitude

Meeting Squiffy, Homemade Chicken Soup and Happy Little Trees, One Prayer\Moment at a Time

While in the CC Hospital for a week, can you guess what the painting was on the wall, in my room?   Let’s just say  it included “Happy Little Trees”!  Thank you Bob Ross for giving us peace through God’s “Happy Little Trees”.  I think it is amazing how God touches our lives right down to the finest details.  I was blessed to be in an isolated room.  Lots of blood tests & cultures were done to be sure that I did not have anything like COVID or a bacterial infections etc, that I could spread to someone else.  At first everyone had to wear full protective garb to enter my room.  By the grace of God I was in this room the whole time.  When all my cultures & blood tests etc. were received, they lifted the order for everyone to wear the protective gear.  It felt like I was in a Sci-fi movie.  “Beam me up Scotty.” Thank you Captain Kirk for filling our heads with these expressions.  How about “to boldly go where no man has gone before.”  Isn’t this part of our mission still today?

In my isolation, God blessed me with beautiful people to observe, share with & listen to.  There are God stories to be heard & made everywhere.  Are you on the Holy Spirit Channel?  Turn it up and we’ll dance around the kitchen.  There truly is always something to be thankful for, to learn & share in God’s perfect timing.  Other people’s perspectives can contain much that we can learn from.  We all can learn from our mistakes, if we are willing.  Are there any mistakes you need to repent & give to God?  If you don’t they will keep you captive instead of being free in Him.   Just know that you can always share them with God… remember that He’s got you covered.  He already knows, so why do we hesitate to share them with the one that can make “beauty from ashes”.  Yes there will be a refiner’s fire but there has to be a fire 🔥 for ashes to exist.  

You will never guess who came to visit me while I was in the hospital.  As I was feeling  a bit “squiffy” (nausea) at times… well God allowed me to meet “Squiffy”!  Seriously I met Squiffy up close & personal!  I now have Squiffy to make me smile!  That day, it felt like I’d been at one of those Fall Fairs and someone won me a special prize.  Thank you Betty Calder.  I hope you didn’t have to use the “high striker”… with the mallet and use all your strength to ring the bell… to win Squiffy for me… hoping it was a ring toss game, as that would be easier on your arms.  Did you ever have a favorite stuffed animal growing up?  Well at 68 years old, I now have a new one.  I collected stuffed animals in my youth.  Each soft & snuggly and the stories I would share with them all… well everyone could have a “create your own mystery” book... one where you choose your own ending.   If only those stuffed animals were still here & could talk….  Believe me I was a piece of work and some of my choices were truly a mystery, but within “my youthful logic” they were the correct choices… UNTIL the outcome taught me that it wasn’t.  Yes, I sometimes learned “the hard way” that I should have made a different choice many times throughout my life.  If we are honest, I am sure, we all may have experienced this 🥴.   For me it was more times than I bothered to count.   Like at the “Bangor State Fair” in my youth… Did you ever eat too much cotton candy & yet still feel that you just had to have a candy apple too… what about the fried dough with powdered sugar or with cinnamon & sugar or do you remember even turning it into a pizza?! etc.   After indulging in these delights, you then made that fatal mistake & still got on your favorite ride, when your tummy was a bit “squiffy”… how about that Tilt-a-Whirl!?!?    Maybe because someone dared you to?!? Then came that moment that your squiffiness got beyond your control.  🤢🤮  You were blessed if it was after you finished your ride.  HUM…after the purge, somehow you still didn’t want to leave the fair.   You wanted to see & do all the fun things that you could squeeze in.  It seems this was a once a year event, if you were lucky enough to get to go.  Then of course, out of nowhere, when you have an urgency to go to the bathroom.  Perhaps this was the magic button that would finally get you to agree with your parents about leaving.  Lesson: Perhaps I’m not always right.  Perhaps I should have listened more carefully to my parents.  Perhaps I SHOULD have gone to the bathroom at that “last stop” before arriving at the fair…  but you remember, you were just too excited…. you just want to get to the fair.  Perhaps my parents really did know what I should & shouldn’t do.  We all have lessons & limitations to learn about. Sometimes my parents let me learn the lesson myself… which is what truly helped me understand that they really did know what they were talking about.  Did you know  that  “the Invincibility of Youthfulness” really doesn’t exist.  🤦‍♀️  Kind of like the “Fountain of Youth” doesn’t exist either.  🤷🏼‍♀️  Sometimes it’s more fun to believe they do, but the moment of realization whips into perspective some deeply true realities.  Are you serious God?  Why didn’t I know this?!?!?!    How about, when you found out that you really DON’T have to wait an hour to go to swimming after you eat!!!  Hey Cousins when did you find this truth out?!?  Maybe we would\could have been Olympic swimmers, if we’d been give this extra time to swim.  Hey Friends did you to wait an hour after eating before you could swim?  Did you make your kids wait too?   I have been told by a few people in my youth that I was gullible… ok in my adult years too.   Did you know that the Cutler Towers don’t fold up & go into the ground, so planes can fly over them or so they could be painted?  Thanks Dad!  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6   This is a truth that I have learned over & over again.  If you’d like to disarm the stress & fear in your life, take it to God.  Ask Him what He wants you to do.  No matter how counterintuitive just do it.  This requires a deep faith that totally trusts in the Lord.  In our life times, Jamie & I have had wonderful people who profoundly modelled this example for us.  You should know that this has been in both young & older Christians.  When I was young, older people of the faith surrounded us and left footprints on our hearts.  Today, it’s the some of the younger Christian’s raising their families up in the Lord, that are such a shining example to us too.  We have had the privilege to watch their children grow up in our church.   We are so thankful to see these youth choose the paths they have.   Thank you Lord for the next generation & we need to be always praying for them.  Just stop & think of when we grew up compared to the world they are growing up in… this alone should be motivation enough to cover them in prayers.                         

While I was having my paid vacation at the hospital, one very special gift from God was that I had Dr. Acheson for my doctor all week!  If you could have seen my face the first morning, when I saw him walk in my room.  🥹Tears of gratefulness mixed with a deep heartfelt joy.  Having him was like a warm comfortable slipper, as he had been our family doctor for 25+ years.  He also understood my bowel issues and I knew he’d do everything he could to help me with this issue.  This may not be a big deal for you, but it is a major one for me.  It truly was another HUGE HUG from God to have him for my doctor all week.  The first 3 days at CCH I tried SS hospital Enema.  

(S= Super, S= 💩).  This was at my request, but for whatever reason they did not work well on me and I was taking “Senna Nat “ too.  A stronger form of Senacot, I think. The next step was to add a combo of three things (which I drank as a liquid).  I was assured this liquid combo would work gently overnight.  STILL NO SUCCESS!  Then they decided to double the dose, along with still taking Senna Nat.  The team consulted and decided that I should also add “lactulose” into my daily routine and all these potions should work to have me go.  The dam finally broke, while I was in the hospital and I went 10 times the day it did!!!  Did you know that you can’t plan this event around nurses lunch breaks or shift changes. 🤪  I was totally wiped 🧻 out 🫩 that day and yes the pun was intended.  Guess I celebrated Jamie’s 70th birthday in a different way.  Jamie went home & made me homemade chicken soup on his birthday for me.  Another demonstration about what Christ-like love is.  Jamie knew I would be able to eat\drink it, despite all my “Squiffiness”.   When he brought it in for me I picked up the bowl & drank it!  Then we snuggled in to watch a Downton Abbey Movie on my iPad.  As I was in the hospital for his 70th birthday, I also didn’t get to do the typical fanfare that I would do to celebrate his day.  I had written him a letter & my daughter, Lindsay put in on special paper along with the pictures that I had picked out.  A friend even brought me in a cupcake that I could give him.  THANK YOU and you know who you are.  I want to say thank you for the flowers too.  I felt so blessed and could feel people’s prayers when I was in the hospital.  The flowers brightened my room!  Those prayers filled my heart in those harder moments (which we all have at times).  As I had pneumonia, they wanted me on IV antibiotics, which I did for a week and then came home with some pills to take to continue to fight the battle.   I am blessed that I now have a hospital bed at home to use.  The whole bed raises & lowers and so does the head & foot.  This makes it much easier to sleep and to get in and out of bed.  Grateful for all the help, of those who knew to set into place the many things for when I came home.  It all did take some adjusting but I am blessed that when I am in bed that I now have a water view!  What a blessing this truly is.  Thank you to Sam who knew how to set all the wheels rolling even for things I didn’t realize how much I needed.  Thank you to the Extra Mural Team from the sweet person who answers the phone in her calm, kind, friendly voice to each one of you who help me.  God does place angels everywhere.  We are truly blessed to have this system for those who need it.   

I would like to say THANK YOU to the whole staff at the CCH for taking such good care of me.  What a blessing to get to talk to each one that came into my room.  We must always remember to listen too, say please and thank you etc.  On this journey God has yet again shown me that it is the little things that truly are the big things.  Always remember that everyone has a story and we are honored if they trust us & share parts of it with us.  When you’ve been in the hospital for a week, the faces become familiar and they become like a family.  Everyone there is working so hard to meet the needs of all the patients and often go the extra mile to meet those needs.  From those who clean your room to the kitchen staff.  Each one is so important to see that the building functions as well as they can.  We need to be sure we are grateful & show them gratitude for what they do.  I know receiving a smile & some kind words from them meant a lot to me.  Thank you all so much for praying and YES, I could feel your prayers & love!  Different people came in to see me and it was nice to speak with each one of you.  Sometimes you just need to lament, like Pastor Ang taught us, and to have a friend to do this with you, is a gift.   There is a lot to adjust to on this journey but the gift of being able to share without being judged is such a blessing that allows us to grow in Him.  Thank You to each of you who prayed & those who sent messages or visited.  Both Jamie & I feel so blessed to have our family, church family & friends.  I don’t have the ability to always answer people at times,  so thank you for understanding.  Sending you all my love in Christ, Holy Spirit HUGS & Prayers.  My heart knows that my Lord & King understands exactly what you need.  My experiences have shown me His faithfulness is such a powerful way that He demonstrates His unconditional love to us.        

Sorry for all the “Potty Talk”… this is for those who know what the “Bottom’s Up Cafe” is.  💩🚽🧻.  I partake in this twice a week at home, to try and keep my bowels on the move.  Thank you Hope4Cancer for teaching me about this... well thank you most days.  😂🤣😂   You have heard me say that I pray for success with NO “Code Brown”.  Right **Judy Dewar.  I’m NOT sure what you’d call what happened to me this past Thursday. 🙃😜  Maybe it is from the 5th dimension.  Jamie is a professional at setting things up for me, as I can’t any more.  In the motion department, my flexibility rating is very low at best.  Jamie gladly does it, as he knows the relief it brings me.  My part is to use the “high tech equipment” once it is set up.  🤓   “Positive Encouraging K-Love” is typically playing in the background to set the perfect positive mood.  Be thankful in all things.  Things seem to have been going OK with just a few little hiccups.  After receiving my 32 ounces of coffee delight it was off to the races.  I had made it to the toilet!✔️  When you reach this point, you typically feel like you’ve won the race.  🏁   Wish someone could have taken a picture of my face when I flushed the toiled and it did NOT go down but started coming up.  😳😱 💩.  

I was like, “Are you kidding me God?!  What do I do?”

My next plea was, “Jamie I need your help!  I flushed the toilet & it is NOT working!!!!”  Yes this was in a bit of a panicked mode\tone.  

Then I fell back into my childhood role of, “I’ve got to go!” 🥴  As if he didn’t know I’d just done the “Bottom’s Up Cafe” and I had 32oz of delight that needed to escape.  

It was like a three ring “potty circus”.  But we had no choice and were the stars of the event.  How Jamie ever manoeuvred the back lid of that toilet off & got it over my head all, while I was still sitting on the toilet!?!?… I’ll truly never know!!  Remember in the mix that I can’t just get up & get out of the way.  In desperation I adapted one of my stealth moves… and I did finally make it to the edge of the tub, so he could give our toilet some serious “plunge therapy”.   I believe this happened three separate times before the toilet would flush properly.  “HOW DO YOU SPELL RELIEF?”  In my world it’s a soft, padded toilet seat with adaptive rails on my throne…  BUT please make sure that it flushes first.  ✨🚽 ✨✨ Believe it or not, I was successful in holding back my erupting forces of nature, to avoid further disaster.  While all this is going on, I am picturing what else I could\should use during this emergency situation, to be better prepared next time.  I invented a lot of things in my mind.  Thank the Lord none of them had to come to fruition!  Do you  have any suggestions for Miss Preparidness?

My appointment with my oncologist was delayed by a week, as I was in the hospital.   🏥  She had left me with three choices to ponder.

Door #1 🚪(Try another pill that was in the same family as the last one I had had such a bad reaction to.  Loss of vision, speech, slowed cognitive abilities, & had memory issues etc.) 

Door #2 🚪 (To start a low dose of chemo. I know how I reacted to chemo before too.  Lots of trips & stays the hospital.  The pharmacist at the time said he could write a book about me. ) My body is not as strong as it was in 2012 & 2013.

Door #3. 🚪 Change to complete palliative care &  with a pain management team etc.

After talking with my oncologist, we were and are now on the same page… I have a team of palliative care people to help me and I get to stay home!  God is so amazingly good.  I don’t need to keep going for more tests like for Bone Scans & CT Scans.   It is a relief to not have to go any more.  With my mobility and trouble getting up & down on those hard tables used with these devices.  Let’s say that these were a great challenge for me to navigate and of course there was a price for me to pay when I did them.  Extra Pain!  It’s kind like unwanted extra fat.  I think I finally got my “Get out of Jail Free” card, when I was changed to full-time palliative. If you could have heard my cheerfulness in getting to cancel these tests.  Now they will go to someone who really needs them.  No more “Gumby & Pokey” stealth ballerina positions for this chick!   Seriously I sometimes think my right arm & left leg belong to someone else!    

As Gloria Gaynor sang, “I Will Survive”.  This Chick KNOWS where her final destination is.  It reminds me of a song we used to sing in Sunday School.  

“Heaven is a Wonderful Place.

Filled with glory & grace,

I wanna see my Saviours Face

Cause Heaven is a wonderful place…”

Seriously some of those Sunday School songs come to mind.   They are a gift from God too.  What’s a favorite one that you have?  They were the ones I sang when I was little & the ones my kids sang in Sunday School.  There are times that Jamie’s heard me sing, “Jesus loves me, this I know...”  Keeping your eyes on Jesus when things get tough is a really solid blessing.  I pray before I do “The Bottom’s Up Cafe” too.  One time Jamie had prayed for everything to go smooth etc. during this time.  When I got done and things had gone well, Jamie thanked God.  And he heard God say, “I didn’t do it for you.”  😂🤣  It still makes me smile because God does have a great sense of humour.  

In my heart I have always tried to be grateful.  Did I always succeed, no but God taught me what true gratitude was through time.  Sadly, I think I have learned that we often, truly don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone.  We don’t fully appreciate what we can do, until we can’t do it anymore.  Yet, it makes my heart a deeper kind of grateful for my daily life. When I lost my vision, my ability to speak with clarity & to write with my hard fought freedom in Christ.  Like when it took me a week to write a letter to my oncologist.  Though it has improved, it does take me markedly longer to write now.  You would not want to know how long it has taken me to write this update either.  My ability to stay focused has been affected too.   

 

In our home here in SS, there are a lot of changes that took place in a short period of time so I could come home.   I am truly learning the vitalness of each of these items as well as long naps in the afternoon.  I truly feel so blessed that I can look across & down river and see the beauty that surrounds us from my hospital bed in my new room.  Or when we have our door & windows open we can hear the church bells from Calais.  I have heard them off & on since my childhood.  It is one of my memories when I came to visit my Nana Snow.   I treasure them.  I truly feel people’s prayers and it’s been amazing to see that God has allowed people to message me in His perfect timing.  Always remember that I love each of you and I am grateful for you all.   Thank you for the gift of your support, love and prayers.  Sending you each Holy Spirit Hugs.  Love you all beyond words.  Remember we are only given one day at a time, so try to find the blessings within that day.  If you think you don’t have strength for the next step, just ask God.  He has done the most unusual and amazing things on this journey for both Jamie & I.  I have lamented, loved deeper, taken that next step against the odds and have found the beauty of God where I least expected to at times.  If we aren’t truly thankful for what we have, why would He bless us with more.  If you see someone doing something you can no longer do, be happy for them and remember the times God allowed you to enjoy those things.   There are so many things that we take for granted, that we can do freely in our daily life.  I would like to praise God for the help He has provided in His perfect timing.  I have learned that God sometimes has to teach me how to receive the help.  He is just waiting to give us His divine help, if we ask.  There are many times that I have said, “God, you take care of it.”  I have said this request in all types of tones, as I cried out to God.  It is said in a thankful way because I truly know God realized that I have reached the place where there is no self-reliance left in my spirit.  It is a good place to be.  He knows that I am fully trusting Him with my very life and I know He will take care of it in His perfect timing.   It is true that the weaker we are the stronger we are in Him because we are letting go & giving the control to God.  Not as easy as it sounds at times, because when things feel out of control we’d like to control something.   He has shown me this over & over again in my life.   Success is letting go & fully letting God.  Well as some would say, I am on the downhill side of this journey… I don’t have the strength to hang on to things and that is a rich blessing.  Seriously, I consider making it to the bathroom with my weak painful leg a HUGE victory.  Instead of worrying what tomorrow holds, I live in the moment because it’s all I have the strength to do.  It really is a blessed place to be.  God keeps showing me His way.   I’m not sure why I am often surprised or in awe of His ways, but I am.  Ending up going to the hospital, was not what I wanted but yet I knew I needed too.  God was orchestrating, so much in the back ground during my week stay at CCH… all so home would be ready for me when I arrived.  I just couldn’t believe all the people who stepped up to help us so I could get home.  When I am sick, paperwork is not a gifting I can do with any clarity.  They provided people in each of those areas where help or changes were needed to provide me with what I needed, if I just signed my name and checked off a few boxes.  When you are really sick this is such an extra deep blessing.  I don’t know the system, let alone the forms.  Thank you to my CCH Team, my Extra Mural Team who worked with the hospital Extra Mural Team.   It’s like a miracle to me, though all the changes felt overwhelming at times.  I prayed & God would show me the safe firm foundation that I had in Him.  Oh how His love shines through, even the hardest moments.

I am very sorry for any mistakes, but truthfully I am still battling with some vision issues & some of the cognitive issues etc, that happened on Aug. 1’st when I had that reaction.  I keep saying that it’s like what teaching my special needs students used to be…. Only we all know that teachers can make the worst students!!!!  To all those teaching Friends, do you remember those teacher’s workshops?  I definitely don’t show myself the same grace that I would have shown my students, without even thinking about it.  So my lesson this time is to remember to be kind & patient to yourself too.  Remember that you are only human.  When you do this, it is truly amazingly what you can experience & see.  There is a deep, rich beauty here.  Most of all, don’t forget to pass on your blessings to others.  Pray and it will be in His perfect timing. We can change the world around us one moment at a time; one prayer at a time; one gesture at a time; one word of encouragement at a time; by listening; by smiling; by giving someone a word, or a few words of encouragement; or giving that Holy Spirit HUG until you can see them.    May God continue to bless you all, in just the ways you need.  

Sending our love, HUGS & prayers,

Paulette & Jamie

“…be Still, and know that I am God…”

Psalm 46:10  (NIV)

God is teaching me the value of “how to be still”.  It’s harder than you think to learn but a blessing when you can.