Dec. 29, 2012 Treatment #4 - Poop Happens! Pease on Earth or Peace of Mind - The Blizzard & No Power
December 29, 2012
Peace on Earth or Peace of Mind
Poop Happens
Sometimes you have to tell it just as it is.
As promised with this last chemo treatment, it was a much harder session for the first 8 days. A lot more nausea this time, bowel issues, bone pain… and even my fingernails hurts. They say that some people’s fingernails will fall out with the new frenamee (chemo) drug they have started me on (Taxotere). A lot goes with this journey and as much as one tries to prepare there are things you just must bear, as God helps you to blossom into a the person that He would have you become. One who will be solid and work for the cause of Christ no matter the cost. There are labor pains with this journey, just as with childbearing. We know that Christ paid the ultimate cost and nothing we suffer is greater than that which He suffered on the cross for us all. Christmas is such a day of celebration because of the birth of Christ, but did you ever stop to think that Heaven knew that Jesus was born to die. Though they rejoiced at His birth… because it meant eternal life for those of us who accept this free gift… they still knew that He was born to die. Is there any greater sacrifice that anyone could ever make for us? Would we as humans, lay down our child’s life for someone else’s child? There are those that do that do make huge sacrifices at their greatest moments of grief, when their child has been in an accident and they donate their organs, so others may have the gift of life. This is a type of sacrifice and more that God did for each and every one of us, so that we might have eternal life. Now stop and imagine the magnitude of God’s love… that He gave His only son. God is so good and I thank him for His unconditional, sacrificial love that saved a sinner like me. It isn’t that I earned it or deserved it; it is because God first loved me. So as hard as this walk with cancer is some days, it is just a small way that I can thank Christ for what He did on the cross for me. Christ has suffered far greater than I. God does not promise us that we will not endure much in our lifetime, but He promises that He will be with us. When we need Him, we only have to call out to Him and He will be there. Wednedsay I was feeling very discouraged, as I fought the battle with bone pain, muscle a pain, complications with my bowels, nausea (force feeding myself for 7 days is not an easy task to fulfill). On top of this I was trying to learn to balance out all the new medications, so they would help me walk this journey. Thank you Jamie, for setting your Blackberry alarm to wake me every four hours for my many medications and sometimes more. Thursday, I looked up at God and I told him that I needed to be encouraged and keep a positive attitude and keep my sense of humor. After a week of nothing but complications, it was hard to feel encouraged let alone keep my typical sense of humor. Christmas and Christmas Day I was so sick and only “face timed” Lindsay for a few minutes on the iPad, to see the grandkids open a couple of presents. You see God had just been waiting for me to call out to Him. Sometimes when we are so sick, we forget to reach out to God. God heard my prayers and answered them in a most unusual way. I had all ready had one bout with my bowels and thought I had made it through to the safe zone for the day. Well surprise! I had managed to eat supper early, at God’s encouragement and crawled back into bed to rest. We were getting an old fashion nor easter\blizzard and the power went out. Jamie had helped me get prepared, as best he could before he left Wednesday night for his 11 days on work shift; the gravity feed oil stove was all lit; he helped me get a bath and then filled the water jug and of course I saved my bath water, in case the power did go out, so we could flush the toilet with a bucket and water. Little did I know how critical that would become. I had been feeling good that my episode with my bowels had been in the morning and just knew I’d be safe later if the power went out. An hour or so after our power had gone out my stomach started not feeling good and I thought I knew what was coming. With flashlight in tow I headed to the bathroom… ever have one of those times when you just couldn’t make it to the bathroom. What a mess with my bowels acting up again, well you get the picture. When one is having bowel issues sometimes when one passes gas there is more of a bonus… what a bonus it was! Now just in vision me trying to get this all cleaned up by the light of two flashlights and live through the bout of diarrhea at the same time. I looked up and said really God and started laughing. This is what you would use to kick my sense of humor in. I’ll have you know that as soon as the bowel episode was over and I had the mess cleaned up or thought I had until the power came back on! Well, maybe I hadn’t done as good of a job as cleaning up as I had thought by flashlight in the dark, but now there was light. I finished the task at hand with a smile on my face and still chuckling. Then I thought, it was a good thing I hadn’t passed that gas in bed! Jamie had just changed my sheets for me before he left. I hope you are all smiling and getting a good laugh, as this is truly what God used to kick my sense of humor in and help me reach the turning point to start feeling better.
It seems as a baby Owen and me as an adult, have more in common that one would think. We are both bald and I will proudly wear my “Depends” tonight just in case… By the way Dad, I feel very stylish in my pink Depends you picked out for me. Owen, I suspect your diapers are blue though. Well they say we start out in diapers and end up in depends…. I am seeing the truth in this statement more and more. They assure me this phase will pass, after I finish these last two treatments.
There is still humor on my journey and God is with me every step of the way. I just need to remember to ask for His help. Have you remembered to ask Him for what you need?
While everyone was celebrating “Peace on Earth”… I was learning to gain peace of mind with my “Depends”. Thanks Dad and Mom for bringing them to me, little did I know just how much I would need them!
Please never forget that your prayers are helping carry me through when I am too sick to ask and are helping me get through each day. THANK YOU!!!!!!
My love, (((((HUGS))))) and may God bless,
Paulette
