December 7, 2012 Silent Night and Hues of Color
Picture Dec. 15, 2012 My Dad & I
The only time my Dad had more hair than me.
Did you ever wonder what Christmas would look like, if we took all the earthly pressures away, that we create during this holiday season? You know the ones we do, in our attempt to make it an extra special season for our friends, family and loved ones. What would really happen if we didn’t find that perfect gift, bake that favorite pie or cookies? What if we didn’t get all those decorations out that have been our family traditions and passed down through the generations? In the business of the season, we have all thought it at one moment or another… how will I fit everything in? Regretfully, it sometimes can cheat us from the true underlying joy of the season. Wouldn’t it be astounding to just sit back and let it happen on its own… the season God really intended it to be for us to celebrate… the birth of Jesus Christ.
“Silent night… Holy night… all is calm… all is bright…”
Did you ever really process the words to this beautiful old Christian hymn. If you have, you know that great beauty can be found in silence and isolation. Well God has given me a unique gift this year, by allowing my eyes, heart and soul to experience Christmas in this way. To be still and know that He truly is God and look at the gift He has bestowed on us, the birth of His son, Jesus Christ. It doesn’t need packaging, paper or a bow and the blessing is, that it is a free gift for all. It’s a gift we can share.
I remember the Christmas season, that I understood the glorious gift I had been given. I left Jamie’s Mom’s home and went up to church across the road by myself. You see each year a different person was given a special gift by Jamie’s Mom, “Grandma” as we all called her. Something we would always have to cherish and remember her by. It was Jamie’s turn to receive the special gift that year and I was drawn to go to church right, after he had received it. It is a copula, that is still on our garage today. I can remember them sharing the story of the birth of Christ that I had heard so many times from my childhood, as I sat in pews of the church. This time when I heard the story it was different. It was as if I was beginning to truly comprehend its meaning in a deeper way. All I knew is that I wanted this Christ they spoke of. Being human, I didn’t want to break any rules, so I went home and ask Jamie if we could invite the pastor over and we talk with him on another day. I left church that day knowing something different was stirring in my heart. We invited the Pastor over and he explained that I was welcomed to ask Christ into my heart anytime, as it was a free gift that God had given us. The next Sunday I went to church and did exactly that, I went forward re-dedicated my life to Christ as my Lord and Savior… my life has never been the same sense. The most magnanimous gift I could ever be given, had been given to me and would begin to change the very heart and soul of who I was, from that instant on. It has been many years since that 1989 Christmas Season and I continue to grow and learn each day. One must remember though, that the most beneficial lessons come from the most complex trials. The ones that seem, almost humanly impossible to deal with. They feel that way because they are and God is just waiting for us to ask Him for His help, so we will know what His will is that, can give us the grace to get through our trial. Don’t mistake your will for God’s will. Sometimes what you feel is His still small voice telling you to do what seems counterintuitive. God actually used my past trials to teach me and give me the strength to face this journey with cancer. When I look back over my life, at all the magnificence the Lord has bestowed on me during my trials, I realize each trial was a blessing that allowed me to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn. It is here when you are still that He draws you closer to Him. A closer walk with Him is something without earthly measure. Spiritual lessons are the lessons that mold your soul and allow you to hear the voice of Christ more clearly in your everyday life. When I hear His still small voice say, “Call someone… on the phone….or email a specific person…” I don’t hesitate, I listen and He always reveals a master plan that I could never have even imagined. The blessing comes back ten-fold when you are given a glimpse through the eyes of Christ… right Michele LangMead. My heart loves you so and continues to blossom and grow because you chose to walk by my side, as I stepped into the Refiner’s fire. Think about it, if you knew someone were about to step into a fire, would you take their hand and walk by their side? The love of Christ allows your soul to do that and it is a privilege beyond measure. Thank you all for walking by my side during this journey with cancer. You see, you may not have realized it but you chose to walk in the Refiner’s Fire with me by doing this. On this journey God continues to shape and mold me into who He wishes me to become. How could I find words to thank each of you for the choice you so freely made in love. That is “Christ like love.” Can you think of any greater gift to be given for Christmas than what each of you have given to me through your unconditional love? That is what my house, eyes, heart and soul are filled with this Christmas Season. To have a glimpse of those you love through the eyes of Christ, is a gift that one cannot measure. I get to see the love that Christ has created in each of you through all that you do and how magnanimous God’s family is through this glimpse into each of your hearts. Everywhere I look, I can be still and know that He is God because each of you have listened to Christ speaking to your heart. There would be no tapestry of colors that could capture the beautiful hues you have created in my life by your many kindnesses. There are colors I had never seen before here in the land of cancer. When we get to Heaven one day, my heart knows that God will allow you all to see the masterpiece that each of you has helped to create. Know that you are making a difference. No matter how small something may seem to you… it often blossoms into the most radiant flower in someone else’s heart. It is a very different journey when God allows head knowledge to knowledge of the hear. That is also what cancer has done for me. When I see someone speak of cancer, it is my heart knowledge that will reach out to them now. Experience is a unique teacher unto its own. It is here that knowledge goes from the head to the heart by the power of the Holy Spirit.
At first, when I realized this Christmas was taking on characteristics that were unfamiliar, I honestly did not see this as a gift and was very uncomfortable… accepting it, but with a heaviness in my heart. You know the kind when you were a kid and you had waited for that special something and then it finally came. Yet after you received it, there was a little let down feeling inside. You see it was the expectation that made it exciting. With God it is not the expectation that makes it exciting, it is the reality of His boundless, unconditional love. When I am weak, God is strong. When I can’t walk, He carries me.
It is my nature to want to do for others and all who know me, know that I just love Christmas. I would wrap each gift with a deep affection for the person it was intended for. Then I would place individual clues on each person’s gift so they could read the clue… guess what their present might be. It always just seemed to make the magic of the season, last a little longer. The thing that cancer does, is that it makes you not hesitate to demonstrate your love for your family and friends, because you realize you never know when you might lose that opportunity. You actually realize the true gift that each day is.
There are just so many things that I love to do at Christmas, like decorate and bring out generations past to meet today’s generation, so that you have that feeling that everyone is still with you when you look around your home. I must admit to this day, that I still miss my daughter’s natural talents in the decorating department. I remember the year we went out and got a new artificial tree (achoo…allergies) and also brought all the trimmings and decorated she picked out for new tree. That is a year I won’t soon forget. I could see my daughter’s natural talents blossoming before my eyes and there was just a special bond there in those moments of realizing not only who she is, but who she had become. The bond still grows… love you Lindsay. My children are a blessing from God. Bill how do I ever thank you for all that you are doing to ease my journey. How can I possibly thank each of you?
My Mom & Dad (Judy & Harry Stevens) Christmas 2012
Grams & Gramps or Great Grams & Great Gramps
Thank you for making Early Christmas Very Special
After My 3’rd Frenamee\Chemo Treatment
Well this year a lot is changing, Christmas isn’t going to occur in what I would consider a normal fashion, as my frenamee treatments have changed that path... so now I get to travel the road never taken before. When you travel down a road you haven’t taken before there is rare beauty found within its path. They have informed me that the treatment on Dec. 19th could be a rough one, as I will still have the three chemo drugs in my system from the last treatment when they introduce my new chemo drug that day. How could that be a blessing you ask? God has already provided that Jamie will be home to go with me. Blessing #1. Kevin & Elaine have always taken me when Jamie is on his two week away work shift. There has always been a peace & comfort in going with them… Blessing #2 is realizing your blessings that have been bestowed upon you. What a blessing to have Jamie with me for the administering of the new Frenamee\chemo drug. When the road gets rough your heart naturally wants the one you are closest to with you. They will use this new drug for my last three treatments. Everyone say THREE with me. 3-2-1! When I look at him my heart will rejoice in the fact that I have had a family and friends that loved me enough to walk this journey with me. Blessing #3 You see God does provide for all of our needs. You only have to stop and look to see the blessings. They truly are surrounding you. The key is to remember to pay the blessings forward. You will see a rainbow of hues from an unexpected vibrant pallet when you do.
You might wonder what is Christmas like without all the ribbons, bows, packages, rushing around shopping and baking? Truthfully it is like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day. You just sit back and relax and honestly take it in. I take in the love of those around me who have let their hearts overflow in so many ways. People often think things and money bring happiness, but that is not where true joy comes from. It comes from Christ and walking with them through their trials… giving from the heart where Christ lives.
Stop and think for a moment, we have a God that gave His only son to die on the cross that we might have eternal life. It is a free gift for all. The only condition, as with all gifts, is that you have to accept the gift to receive it. I was in my 30’s before I comprehended and received this gift in a much deeper way. A gift that was so amazing and free. My prayer for you all is that you do not get tangled in the wrappings, but wound in the love of Christ this Christmas Season. May God bless you back with the many kindnesses that you have so freely given. Can’t wait until we all see the tapestry of colors we have created together on this journey. What’s your favorite color? Mine are friends & family.
My love, (((((HUGS))))) and may God bless,
Paulette
