April 25, 2013 One More Part of the Journey Down

 Thursday, Apr 25, 2013 3:34 pm

Subject: One More Part of the Journey Down

My mind remembers like yesterday being in Kansas with Lindsay and finding out 
that I had cancer.  Somehow though, the time has felt very long... today it 
feels very short.  I can not believe all that my body, spirit and soul have been 
through for the last eight months.  Today I woke up at my parents house and I am 
just starting to comprehend that I do not have to go back to the hospital or a 
doctor until July 5th!  Thank The Lord for the Extra Mural team of people, who 
come to your house!

My last radiation treatment was a week ago today.  They have explained to me 
that my skin will keep burning for the next two weeks, as the radiation will 
continue to work and be in my body for this time.  Radiation was much better 
than chemo for me, though radiation has still presented its own set of 
challenges.  My skin has split open in three areas that I must now wash with a 
saline solution three times a day and put a special cream on to help prevent 
infection.  

My new skin will grow underneath the burned areas (under my right arm, my shoulder,

through to my back etc.)  and then my skin will peal.  It's kind of like having a sunburn 

on strong steroids.  It is a process that is painful, but it is much better than 

my journey with chemo was.  Peter Maybe warned me of the fatigue that would 

eventually hit me from the radiation and it has hit. Such a strong, relentless fatigue.

My Mom & Dad invited me to stay with them, until Jamie gets home 
from his work shift.  My heart is very grateful and I feel so blessed to have 
them.  You might wonder why, after all this time away from home, that I didn't 
just go home.  There are burned areas of my skin that require cream that I can't 
reach.  My Mom helps me with these three times a day and my Dad gladly does all 
the cooking.  The house smells like a bakery when he cooks.  Honestly, I can't 
believe how much he does cook some days.  Two batches of muffins (one gluten 
free for me) and then supper etc.  Also, since I have started my journey with 
cancer, I haven't had much time with my parents, so this is an extra special 
blessing.  I get to recover and spend time with them, which I have missed very 
much.  This is the first time that I have seen our Lake House, which is next 
door to my parents house, in many months.  In a sense I got to come home in two 
ways.  There is nothing like a soft spot to land, so you can begin to recover.  
My parents house is that soft spot.  They must have forgotten that they told 
Jamie (when he married me), "No deposit and no return", as they did let Jamie 
drop me off here.

You do become attached to your new family that have adopted you and spent so 
much time with you at the hostel.  My heart misses them, but I can pray for them 
and will take the time to call them.  The hostel was a time and place to begin 
to heal a different kind of way.   Everyone at the hostel has cancer so you 
automatically have a bond.  You talk, share and take care of each other.  You 
celebrate the gains you have made together and cry sometimes because of all you 
have gone through and are still going through.  It is your home away from home 
and they are your new family.  My Mom & Dad's is the place to begin to heal & 
start to find my way to what will be my new normal.  With cancer, each time you 
think you have found your new normal it changes.  Now is the time that each day 
will bring, what most would consider very small gains, but for me each gain 
seems like a giant step and I am grateful for it.  Cancer has taught me to truly 
appreciate the simple things in life.   It is very exciting in some ways now 
because I feel like I am getting a chance to really begin my recovery.  Though 
much of my day is spent doing the things required to help you achieve this.  I 
mean really stretching exercises 2-3 times a day.  OUCH!!!  That new skin does 
need to stretch though or I will loose my range of motion.  By the way, though I 
have lost weight but I do not recommend this diet plan!  The way my Mom & Dad 
have been feeding me, I may gain it all back in less than a week.

God has shown me once again that He works in mysterious ways and that His ways 
are not our ways.  I just try to listen for His still small voice and do what He 
asks without question,  because I know He has a plan... and His plan would be 
better than anything that I could every create.  When Jamie was on his last work 
shift off, The Lord burdened me to tell him to go home for a few days.  After 
going through these past months, my heart & soul knows in a deeper way just how 
much he truly loves me and I love him.  He constantly went from his two work 
weeks on the boat to his two weeks off... which consisted of either taking care 
of me or spending a lot of time with me at the hospital.  I just wanted him to 
go home and breathe and get a taste of normal.  He could see that the hostel was 
a wonderful place and that I had a good community of friends, support & love 
there.  Though he really didn't want to go, I consistently kept at him, as only 
a wife can do, and he finally said he would go home for a night.  God had some 
big, unexpected plans for that night and I am so thankful that we both listened 
and Jamie went home. After he arrived home, a knock came on the door... it was 
Robby Fletcher... as those of you on Campobello know, sadly his family's house 
had burned down.  As some of you may remember, a few years ago we tried to sell 
our house and couldn't give it away.  We wanted to sell it and move to St. 
Stephen and get an apartment.  Then I would be closer to where Jamie works now 
and closer to things like our family doctor etc.  This was before I ever knew 
that cancer was going to be a part of my health journey.  Well, Robby had 
remembered a few years ago that we had our house for sale and wanted to know if 
we were still interested in selling it.  When Jamie called me that night and 
told me what had happened...  I told him that without a doubt it was God 
providing for two families that had been through a rough time.  They loosing 
their home and our journey with my cancer.   Leave it to God to take two 
families trials and give them each a blessing.  My heart was so excited when 
they came over and I could see how much they loved the house.  Of course it will 
be a time of mixed emotions for us all.  Them losing their home and us leaving 
our home.  Both places with held lots of special memories.  They understand that 
I need time to recover, before I can physically help pack things up to move.  
They have even offered to help.  Our closing date is in July almost 30 years to 
the day that we had moved in.  

God blessed Jamie when he went apartment hunting... he liked the first place he 
looked at.  He took me to see it, on my way home from the hospital for the 
weekend.  I instantly liked the apartment too.  It has a nice view of the river.  
As we are  50 or over we were able to get an apartment in the seniors complex.  
Hum, now there is an experience... realizing that at your age, some consider you 
a senior!  The great thing is, that it will be a nice quiet place.  I checked my 
phone messages on our home phone a couple of days ago and there was a message 
from Jan & Claude Guptill... Bill use to stay with them in their basement 
apartment, when he went to the community college in St. Andrews.  They live in 
the apartment complex where we are going to live and just wanted us to know, 
they were excited to hear we were coming.  Funny how God speaks to someone's 
heart to do a simple thing like make a phone call and they listen... and it 
became a hug from God, telling you that you have found the right place to live.  


Well all in all, it has been quite a journey since last August and it looks like 
the adventure continues, as we will settle into a new community and leave the 
one that has been such a special part of our lives for the last 30 years.  Lots 
of memories will move with us.  The nice thing is that I am sure I will see lots 
of those familiar faces when they make their trips "up river".  

Please pray that I recover quickly and can get 30 years of "Stuff" cleaned out!  
When we originally put a for sale sign out front, a few years ago, we started to 
clean out the house... so some of it is done.  At the time we were cleaning out, 
I said, "that the Big Dig in Boston" had nothing over this project.  How & why 
on earth do we manage to accumulate 30 years of this much stuff?  There is still 
a long way to go to clean out all that must be done.  I know why God gives us 
one day at a time!  Jamie & I were just settling in to the of concept that on 
his next two weeks off, we weren't going to be spending it in the hospital 
setting instead we would get to stay home.  Well now the time of staying home 
will hold a whole new concept.  If you had told me a year ago that I was going 
to have cancer and just coming to the end of my treatments that we would sell 
our house... well I would have told you that your were crazy!  You see God does 
indeed work in mysterious ways... He has the master plan.  Though this journey 
with cancer is nothing I ever would have chosen, God has been using it to teach 
me so much.  Let's just say that when you come to the end of yourself that He 
gets your full attention!  He blessed me by allowing me to meet some wonderful 
people along the way and to see the real hearts of the people who surround me.  
Take a good look around you today and notice the wonderful people God has put 
into your life.  Thank you all for helping me walk this journey!  By the way, my 
hair is slowly coming back.  Last time Jamie saw me he said I looked like a 
Chiapet(sp?) ... you know those little animals that are made out of pottery and 
the green plants begin to sprout from them when you water them.  I told him that 
I hadn't been watered very well.  We got a good laugh out of that one!  A sense 
of humor will help carry you a long way.

By the way, if anyone loves to pack boxes, all volunteers will be welcome.  The 
pay is little, but there is sure to be laughter mixed with a few tears... and 
there are sure to be many treasures given away.  After all they do say, "one 
man's trash is another man's treasure".   Who knows, this could be like that TV 
show, "Storage Wars" only you don't have to bid.  Maybe this is a concept for a 
new reality show, "Moving Wars".

My love, ((((HUGS))) and prayers,
Paulette