Safety in Numbers - 01/13/2024

 

Have you ever heard the expression that there is “safety in numbers”? 

Those of you who know me know that I have always said, “God never answers our prayers in the way we expected but He always answers our prayers in the ways that is best for you & all involved”.  God’s best does not look like what we as humans feel as an earthly best. 

Has anyone ever told you not to do drugs because it is dangerous for you?   Well in preparation for my CT Scan, I am required to take a high dose of Prednisone & a high doses of Benadryl  the night before & one hour before I am going to have the CT Scan. This is all to help me NOT to react to the necessary injected dye that is  given so they can preform The CT Scan.  You might ask why this is necessary, well I had a strong allergic reaction to the dye many years ago.  I had a rash that went from my neck to my waste & down both my front & back.  Actually, I looked quite a huge hive on my whole body.   You know the itch you can’t scratch… 

Did anyone ever tell you NOT to take drugs because it could be dangerous for someone else?  In my case I can tell you that it is true.  Honestly I think there should be a hazard warning on the Prednisone medication stating that it is extremely dangerous for someone with ADD to take high doses of prednisone mixed with high does of Benadryl.   

But to do this CT Scan I stepped up to the plate & followed the rules.  Have you ever seen someone with a sense of humor on steroids?  Curl up in a nice blanket & I’ll take you along.   Warning, if you have bladder issues you may want to make a bathroom run before you read this. 

My daughter, Lindsay, entertained me via text… or should I say I entertained her?  Here were a couple of my messages to her after ingesting the high dose of prednisone.  Jamie owes her a lot for occupying me! 

“Thought we were going to have a food shortage at the hotel with me on the prednisone.

I’m stoned on my high dose of prednisone & Benadryl.  .  Have almost eaten us out of the hotel.  Time for some sleep & another dose 7:30am in the morning.  

I have a flashlight so I don’t get lost on the way to the bathroom or fridge in the middle of the night, which ever urge is stronger.

You’d better pray for who God puts in my path tomorrow if they are carrying food.  

Thank you!!! .  Dad just may keep taking my act on the road.” 

BTW This was me on drugs & yes it was steroids.  Glad you appreciate the ‘Joy of the Lord’.  He had to have had a profound sense of humor to have created me.  Now you know who the real hero is on this journey… PAPA because he lives through it all!  This is your ADD Mom signing off.  Wait, did I hear a HUGE sigh of relief from you, accompanied by a role of your eyes.  You go to your room young lady.  Wait that won’t work, it’s a reward at your age.  Night & Love you last.  Tag you’re it.  ”

I shared my humor with a few individuals that I knew would not only tolerate but even appreciate.  Right Ang etc. and you know who you are?  God did nudge me about one very special person to my heart Bryan Clouser.  You might remember the picture of Anna & Bryan who were in the group of people (Aubrey, Heather, Anna & Ewa) whom I met at Hope 4 Cancer in Tijuanna I asked you to “Love beyond worms”.  Which I hope by now you know means to pray for them.   Well Bryan wins the award for the best response for my crazy “Paulette on required drugs” stone message….  And just in case you wonder if God’s timing is perfect.   Here is the message I woke up to in the morning from Bryan.

“That is too funny!!! I hope they have k-9 attack dog training jackets!!!
Tell Jamie to wear one of those  button up shirts with the pockets. He can stuff them with some of your favorites!
It will be better for all involved! He will be a hero. They will tell fables of your quest!!!” 

I told Bryan that we lived far apart because the seismic scale would not be handle us together.   Though maybe we could go on the road. 

This was exactly the laugh I needed before leaving to go for my CT Scan & Bone Scan.  Those of you that know me well have experienced my sense of humor.  Be thankful that I didn’t raise you.  Just ask my kids!!!

Well my results were not as many of you would hope, as the disease has progressed to other areas.  You each should know that God truly went before Jamie & I  to prepare us & make a way to receive this news.  He had prepared the deepest place in our hearts & soul so we both all ready knew.  You see for the last few months my fatigue & pain has greatly increased.   My mobility has also changed.  Sitting for any length of time is not an option for me now.  When I do these updates now, I have been standing to type them.  God is so gracious & merciful when He prepares you to receive this kind of news.  Though if we are honest, it is still very difficult  to hear this out loud from your oncologist.  Our God is a good God and I want to say that is ok to grieve with God & share how you really feel with Him.  He already knows & can hear your heart.   

The good news is that they are referring me to my old buddy Dr. Mo who is the radiation oncologist, who may be able to bring me some relief through targeted radiation.   Also as I gave my word, I will start my first injection next week.  By God’s grace, it had been canceled for this past week.  God knew we would have enough to process.

Remember, I asked you if you had ever heard the expression that there was “safety in numbers”?  Well there were times that it was very important when we were children & there are seasons of your life that it becomes very important when you are on a health journey and or aging.  My Honey, Jamie is stepping back from the ocean for awhile to be home with me.  You often wonder how you will know when it’s time for something and one of his Christian friends & coworkers said, “You will know when it is time.”  My heart is grateful that God always speaks truth to us through His  Holy Spirit & tells us when, because His timing is always perfect.  In this situation my prayer has been for God to bring Jamie home at the right time & God has never failed me.  With Jamie home now you probably can imagine, I am in wonderful hands and God’s timing was perfect yet again.  He is used to being captain of the ship and makes a wonderful captain of our home.  He oozes Christ-like love, mercy, grace & compassion.  O One that can only come when you have truly weathered the storms of 43+ years of marriage together.  You know when you’ve both seen the good, the bad and survived the devastations of living in a fallen world and then still choose to love.   In Corinthinas 13:13 it says, “So now faith, hope and love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love.”  By God’s mercy & grace and doing what was very hard holy work, Jamie & I have been blessed to experience the truth of God’s word in this scripture.  He has stepped in as the chief cook, bottle washer and care-giver.   Today I received some delicious homemade chicken soup during the storm.

I hope you curled up for a while with your warm blanket to go on the journey of this update, during this crazy storm today. Always remember God is good and He is good all the time, even when we don’t understand.   He has the master plan and only He truly knows what is best.  Only God can see the beginning from the end.  I have truly learned that our life’s journey is all about letting go and letting God.  His will, His way and His timing alone are always best. The question is, will you be willing to “go dancing in the deep with God” and trust Him and believe that His word is true. God has proven this to me over and over again throughout my life and He has never failed me.  I have had the honor and the privilege to see God “everywhere” when I have been willing to step into my ‘God story’ with Him each day. Who am I that He would bother to use me in some small way?  He doesn’t need me, but He’s so graciously & willing to use me, this cracked pot, and shown me over & over again that I am his beloved, chosen, daughter.  Last year the word God gave me for the year was “listen” and my verse was, “Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23. God‘s blessings have been everywhere and many of them have come through you my family, my friends and my beautiful church family who has walked so well by my side.  When you learn to look past, your expectations and fully “listen” & trust God  is when you can see His deepest beauty everywhere , truly count your blessings and hear His still small voice the clearest. 

Please listen to His still small voice and always remember there is NO deed too small.  When we came home from our hardest day so far on this cancer journey, we came home to a cleaned apartment with a bouquet of flowers.  Those are the flowers in the picture.  Also, I have attached my testimony that I gave our church last Sunday.  That day He had me completely step out of my comfort zone to do this, as God told me I could not prepare.  Remember me Mrs Preparedness?! What is in this clip was just given through the Holy Spirit that lives within my heart.  No preparation or retakes just from my heart to yours.  Thanks Dan for coming over so I could do that.