A Moment in Time - 08/13/2024

 A Moment in Time

Have you ever been really tired?  Well God taught me, “It’s OK to be tired,” with one of His divine appointments last year. 

Recently there has been a lot of heavy news about people we each love & care about who will be battling cancer or a very serious illness.  You each know who you are.  This is dedicated to all of you… those that just stepped into this battle… those that love you … those who are the caretakers and those who continue this battle.  Love you all beyond words.    God already knows their names, so let’s just lift them ALL to the Throne of Grace.  It’s heavy lifting but God CAN carry this load.

Today the sky has tuffs of cotton ball clouds floating by.  The beauty of this day reminded me of rich blessings that God gave me at the beginning of this cancer journey.  This particular day last year was the day I found out that I not only had breast cancer again, but that it had metastasized to my bones.  This is a “take your breath away moment in time”, but God covers us in our hardest moments in ways we do not expect.  Over & over God has taught me that He goes before me to make a way. This was one of those days where this truth was reinforced multiple times.

God allowed me to feel good & enjoy the sunshine of the ride up with Jamie.  Those who know me, know that I must occupy my ADD brain while in the car.   Well I LOVE music.  You know, when music comes on the radio that you can sing along with.  I am sure Jamie is especially happy when this happens, as I can be very chatty.  I mean I am even chatty on my updates and those are written.  Those of you who have received text messages from me, you know I am even chatty there.  Apparently, I haven’t learned that the purpose of a text message is to be brief.  My mother once told me this old expression, “Paulette, I think you were vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”  For those too young to remember those older devices you may need to look up a picture of a phonograph machine.  Little did my Mom also know that encouraging me to learn to type would carry me this far!  No I can’t text but I can type, thus a keyboard with my iPad.  There, I fooled technology, now didn’t I!  

Jamie & I went in for what I thought was an appointment to sign papers to have my left breast removed in May of 2023.  I looked for whom God would place in our path that day.  There is always something that God wants us to do.  He really will use us where we are.  Right at the elevator of St. Joseph’s Hospital, I saw a woman with an expression of deep concern mixed with confusion on her face.  I chimed into her world of thought and said, “Where are you going?”  When she said the 9th floor, I knew why God had placed her in my path.  I said, “That’s where we are going, we’ll show you the way.”  Those of you who know, understand that this is the floor where breast cancer patients & those suspected of breast cancer go for testing.  It was a blessing to chat with her, until it was her time to go in for her tests.  Honestly my heart ached that she was alone at this appointment.  Right after she went in, I got a text message from a dear Friend and she said, “I am covering you in prayer.”  And then another Friend messaged me & said, that she was praying for me.  I no sooner had texted them to thank them both and we were called to go into my appointment.  Jamie sat on the right, we left space for the doctor in the middle and with my special breast cancer notebook open… I sat on the left.  I had no idea why God had burdened both of these friends in that moment to pray, but God did.  It was still in our COVID world of extra precautions.  Jamie reminded me that my surgeon, had pulled down her mask to talk to me.  She said, “You won’t be signing these papers today, as your cancer has metastasized to your bones.”  Well you can imagine that my world stopped as I tried to process those words.  Of course tears came and all I could hear God saying was, “Ask to sit beside Jamie,” in my moment of shock.  At this point, I honestly could not hear anything else anyone was saying.  It’s kind of like time freezes and you are stuck in that moment trying to process those devastating words.  I did however listen to God and ask to sit by Jamie.  Many days later my friend told me that God was urgent when He was requesting her to pray for us.  All she could picture was Jesus wrapping us in a blanket as she prayed.    Does Jesus go before us & make a way, “YES, He does.”Listen to him when he nudges you to pray for someone.  He has divine reasons you don’t understand. 

After the doctor had spoken and said, “I hope to see you back here some day.”  They left us alone for a few minutes to process the news we had been given.  The coverage of prayer allowed us both to take that first breath & step into this new journey neither of us had expected. 

During this part of the season Jamie was still working on the boat.  My prayer to God had consistently been through this journey, “God you bring him home when I will need him.”  I always left it there with God.  This day was a day his boat was in & his bosses sent him home early so, that he could take me to my appointment.  Did God bring Jamie home when I would need him?  “YES, He DID!” 

My nurse care worker, Jordan, came back in the room and asked me if I still wanted to go to my other appointment at the Regional. I said, “Yes because God will have something He wants me to do.”  Did God have something he wanted both Jamie & I to do?   YES, He did!”  He placed people in our path, as I waited for my test and they needed God’s love & encouragement.  Long story short one gentlemen had just found out that he had cancer & was there to have tests that day.  Will God use us where we are?  “YES HE WILL!”

On our way out of the hospital we met, Pete Stubbs .  One day when we were having the 40 days of prayer in our church, God led Pete, another gentleman, & Josh Cheney to go to the church to pray room spur of the moment.   I remember Pete asking me if I would mind if he prayed aloud.  Those of you that know me, know that I smiled & said, “Not at all.”  That was the beginning of a very powerful prayer time in our little prayer room.  When we are there we go straight to God’s Throne Room.  NEVER forget the power of prayer.  I honestly have no earthly words to adequately explain exactly what happened.  We had been praying for “Unity” of the churches.  It was beginning.  I had also been to the worship music at Pete’s church with a group from my church recently.  I was surprised to see him at the Regional.  I knew that God had placed him in my path for a different reason.  I went up to say hi.  Then said, “If God put you in my path, I guess I can share my results with you.”  I had not even spoken the words aloud to anyone before this.  All I knew was that I was safe & God had led me to share my results aloud for the first time.  He gave me a hug & shared that he thought he was suppose to be at the hospital to see someone else but was unable to connect with them.  And then He said, “God must have placed me here for you.” My heart knew this was true.  God places people in our paths when we need them. We talked for a few minutes and he said that he would be praying for us.  Does God go before us to make a way? YES, HE DOES!

We left the hospital & were both still processing this heavy news.  Jamie looks at me with that incredible smile & says, “Do you want to go out to eat?”  In my mind, I was thinking, NO, I’d just like to go home… BUT God was loud & He was clear.  God said, “Yes you do Paulette!”  God still small voice was strong so I listened & told Jamie yes.  To my surprise we left the hospital parking lot & headed to Fredericton! 

When we got there he took us a restaurant we had never been to before.   I had seen it on my Gluten Free App a long time ago and it had great reviews for being able to accommodate for dietary restrictions.  You know me & my dietary rainbow of restrictions.  It was also said to be a very busy place & you should make reservations.  Well we had not and to our surprise, we were the only ones there when we pulled in, so we sat down to eat.  The hostess, was exceptional.  Kind of just felt a spiritual connection.  I told her, “You aren’t  just the hostess, you are the heart of this place.”  She said, “Well you never know what someone has found out that day when they sit down at one of these tables.”  I heard God very clearly and knew I would ask to speak to her for a minute after our meal.  God was good because He was holding my tears back when she made that comment, because my heart knew what we had found out that day!  She clearly had a gifting & was placed in this restaurant for a reason.  When the food came we bowed our heads & said grace.  The meal was absolutely delicious and so special because of the exceptional care we had been given.  After we were done, I asked if I could speak to her for a minute privately.   First I told her to never change how she cares for people here.  I wanted to confirm her calling & encourage her by sharing what I had found out that day.  I let her know how she had handled things for us HAD made such a difference for more reasons than she knew.  When I told her that I had just been told that my breast cancer had metastasized to my bones today.  An expression came on her face, almost a divine expression of deep understanding mixed with Christ-like compassion.  She had taken care of two very dear people who she had lost to cancer.  She looked at me and said, “I want you to remember one thing for me.  When you do get tired, remember that it’s OK to be tired.”  Had God gone before us to make a way.  YES HE DID!  As beyond hard as our day had been, God infused it with His divine blessings. 

Incase you think God doesn’t have a sense of humor though.  You do need to hang out with me!  On the way home, I really wanted some upbeat music.  The Christian radio station wasn’t playing any music my heart felt it needed in that moment.  So I did something I rarely do, I changed the channel twice but I couldn’t find anything on!  You know, I wanted an older song to sing along with.  I told Jamie to see if he could find something.  He changed the channel & what do you think came on for a song?  Really just take a guess.  Wait for it.  “Stairway to Heaven!”  Seriously I burst out laughing.  Friends if we know Jesus Christ as our Lord & Saviour, we are all on a Stairway to Heaven.  None of us know when our time is, because God has chosen it.  It is not the disease of cancer that chooses my day!  It is my Lord & King!!!  Are His Will, His Way and His Timing always perfect?  YES THEY ARE!   On what was one of the hardest days for us on this journey, God did indeed go before us & make a way several times.  Not in a way we expected, but in His divine Way as only He can do.  He is indeed the Way Maker.

“I am the Lord, your Holy One The Creator of Israel, your King who makes a way through the sea and a path through the mighty waters.”  Isaiah 43:15-16

I’ve held onto this hostesses words since that day.  Now I have days when I do get really tired.  When I get tired, I tell myself, “Paulette, it’s OK to be tired.”  Then I smile & remember how God handpicked this hostess to deliver that powerful message to me.  Who but God!?!

Tomorrow I go for my 5th CT Scan and Bone Scan since last year.  My friend Marilyn Gullison will be taking me.  Pray for her, as I will be on the high doses of prednisone, so I don’t have an allergic reaction to the dye.  These high doses make me crazy hungry & sends my ADD into a new level of orbit.  If they discover a new unidentified object tonight or tomorrow, you will just know it’s me in my orbit.  Guard your food if you see me coming.  Please pray for whom God will place in our paths tomorrow.  He’d best use His divine ways to bless & spare them too!  Can you imagine me more talkative that usual!  

Why isn’t Jamie taking me… well his back has been out for a couple of weeks now.   I have encouraged him to stay home & do what he needs to do to heal and that is rest.  Why is his back out?  That’s a story for another day!  Oh home has been an adventure for us lately.   Well more me than him, for a change.  You see God did answer YOUR  prayers & I have NOT had a major list of reactions to my last injection given to me a week ago.  How’s that for a miracle!!!  Does God provide for all of our needs?  YES HE DOES!  Jamie sweetly said the other day, “I think now, I’ve had a taste of what you have gone through.  Just a taste, but a taste.”  This involves his sciatica nerve, so he has full well been experiencing nerve pain!  Not the same as when he looks at me and says, “You have some nerve.”    Through two appointments we found out that he has a compressed disc.  Please keep him in your prayers.  Pray for me, as I try to get him to behave too!  Men!  Just sayin’.  Can I hear an AMEN?  Love him so.     We learned my humor is dangerous to him, while his back is out.  Who knew?    To make it up to you Hon, here’s a chocolate kiss form me to you .    

All of you traveling this journey, please remember that, “It’s OK to be tired.”  Rest in Him, as He is just waiting there for you. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  Matthew 11:28-29

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  Psalm 4:8

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”  Isaiah 40:29

Is it Ok to be tired?  YES IT IS, if you rest in Him, the very maker of Heaven & Earth.