Being still and knowing that He truly is God - 12/15/2023

At this time of the year, Christmas evokes many memories and deep, heartfelt emotions.   We all really do get visited by Christmas Past & Christmas Present just NOT Christmas Future as Scrooge did.  It is a blessing that God gives us one day at a time.  The feelings that come with this season have a multitude of intensities and as many ranges as all the mountains combined in our world.   Sometimes our emotions seem to be like “shape shifters” as you never know what form they will take or when they will occur.  They can be triggered with a scent, or a memory that hits you at the most unexpected time in the grocery.   Thank you for Joy for doing my grocery shopping today.  It is amazing how God brings people along side to walk with us through all seasons.  I am truly blessed to have the family, church family & friends who do & have done life with me.  Each of you have impacted my life in inexpressible ways

With ADD I have my own “variety show” going on in my mind all the time.  It started with memories of Christmas past (Grammy & Grampy Stevens, my Nana Snow, my Mom and Dad, cousins, family & friends etc).   There is an empty place in our hearts for those who have gone on before us.  At times, if we are honest, it is hard to fully process life without them.  My heart realized, as it bounded from the peaks to valley on its own roller coaster ride, that this is actually a blessing from God.   You see it is the purest evidence of having loved & been loved.  Passing you a Kleenex & a gravol incase your roller coaster is moving to bit too fast this time of year.  Encouraging you each to take God’s advice in some of those moments.  “Be still and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10.  It is harder for me to apply this scripture reference with ADD, but it is a good practice that I try to do.   As my Christmas lights reflect the Christmas Present, my mind drifts off on how Christ loved me through each of these people that He placed in my life and my path.  In your still moments, I hope you all can have a hot chocolate & a Christmas cookie as I am sending you a Holy Spirit Hug from My Heart to Each of Your Beautiful Hearts.   My soul knows that God will deliver it in His perfect timing mixed with His divine touch.  My prayer is that you can receive it with the Christ-like love that is intended. 

You should know with ADD your mind doesn’t stay parked in one place for long.   Huckle Berry Fin has nothing on me, as this leads me on adventure after adventure.  The great thing is I don’t even have to leave home.   Somehow it all lead me on  an  a journey of thinking about the childhood games I used to play with my best friend Beav, neighbors and cousins.  Yes this was back in the day when playing outside was not only a normal, but a GRAND part of childhood.  “How many of you liked to play Hide-n-Seek” when you were growing up? …

My health has been on a journey of its own, but God has been faithful through it all.  I like saying that aging is NOT for wimps.  Amongst the rainbow of effects this has involved some back & pain in my left hip.   And for a little variety a UTI.   It has been an issues throughout my life for me.  In fairness to God, He did give me a reprieve for a year & a half.   Everyone who’s had one knows that dancing, until the antibiotic kicks in.  Once, when I was in a snarky mood, a few years ago I said that, “The only thing golden in your golden years is your urine IF you are lucky”.   Maybe I’m trying to get in the Guinness book of records for UTIs.  As you may have guessed by now, humor has and is a good form of release for me.   So thankful that God gave us a sense of humor & I was blessed to be raised in that spirit.  Those of you who really know me, know the reality of the depth of this comment.  Also VERY grateful that humor is part of my married life.  A quick example was I was upset with our insurance company while trying to get a claim straightened out that had taken many attempts over a three month period. When I wasn’t feeling good and had reached my breaking point (pain can do that at times), I decided that I was going to call the insurance company & straighten this out once & for all.   As I had not consulted with God about this, He stepped in with some divine intervention.  You should know that His interventions come in all shapes, sizes and forms.  They are typically NOT what we expect either.   You see the strategic element of surprise can be very effective in getting our attention.  After all God’s ways are not our ways.  Hide-n-seek of this truth is found in Isaiah 55.

Anyway back on topic with my ADD.  I said to Jamie, “I have tried being patient and kind.  Every time I call I get a different insurance agent.  Each time I’ve called I’ve done exactly what the specific agent requested  of me too… BUT this time I am just going to give them ‘a piece of my mind’ !” 

Jamie had carefully listened to my rant & knows the fatigue & pain that I am experiencing at times on this recent journey.  Six attempts at one thing was a bit much for me.  He also has the inside scoop and knows that I do not get in this “state of mind” very often, but when I do LOOK OUT!   He had also carefully absorbed my last comment.    So just before I was placing the call to the insurance agent…  remember I was going to give them ‘a piece of my mind’ he says…   wait for it…

Jamie perfectly interjected this question, “Are you sure you have enough to spare”.

With this one interjection he replaced “piece” with “peace”.   Oh my soul, he completely disarmed me & I cracked up laughing.  God did the rest!  This time I got a kind, loving compassionate agent.  As God nudged me  I also humbled myself & I explained my current health situation.   This agent took it upon herself to go the extra mile for me and said she would see that it was resolved.  Because Jamie had disarmed my anger mixed with sickness and frustration, I had bowed my heart & prayed so I could approached it all with a Christ-like attitude.  Not only did she resolve it, she gave me her contact information so that if in the future I should have an issue, she would assist me.  Thank you God & Jamie for this miracle!  No wonder God says, “Blessed are the Peacemakers.”  Notice He doesn’t say ‘Peacekeepers’.   That is a deep topic for another day.  Hide-n-seek… Scripture verse Matthew 5:9

My silence has been me “being still and knowing that He truly is God”.   My heart wanted to wait until things were in place to move forward before I did my update. To find out how I am doing with my natural treatments, I needed a CT Scan and a Bone Scan.   It seems that to receive the CT Scan and Bone Scan that I need to step into doing a conventional treatment.  At first, my heart was saddened by this & I was upset.  Honestly, I had worked so hard to do things naturally, that I just didn’t understand.   As I’ve sat in “the stillness with God” it occurred to me that this might be God opening the door, as there are no options.  With ADD it can be a real challenge to make choices, therefore God removed the options.   As of today, I am all scheduled for my next CT Scan & Bone Scan on Jan. 2’nd, 2024.  Blessing #1, they booked them both for the same day so it will mean only going to St. John one day to receive both tests.  My left hip REALLY appreciates this!  Blessing #2 Jamie is off to take me.  PLEASE PRAY FOR GOOD WEATHER!   Thank you Joy & Marilyn for standing in the gap this Christmas season incase it was while Jamie was on his two week away shift.  He will get home Christmas Eve this year.  Besides the birth of Jesus Christ, he will be my favorite gift.

My praise offering is that on Dec. 6th when I met with my oncologist they did an x-ray of my left hip & blood work.   I have trouble sitting & riding in the car.   The blessing is that I get more done during the day standing than sitting.    The x-ray did NOT indicate cancer present in my left hip.   It seems my diet that Hope4 Cancer put me on has really helped as my most recent BW came back good with exception of low sodium.  It has continued to be low.  I laughted when I thought I could just get a salt lick like a deer uses.  I told you my sense of humor & ADD have free rein at times  Well you might guess that I chose CHIPS instead.  So Betty I continue to eat ALL the folded chips too instead of give them to Jamie when he is home.  After all It is for my health after all, right?

Then On January 11th I will see my oncologist & get my CT Scan and Bone Scan results.  As Christ expects us to keep our word, on January 11th I also step into having my first “faslodex injection” as the conventional treatment.    Please pray for me to have no adverse reactions to this injection.  My pharmacist once said that they could write a book about me. 

 Oh yes, just incase you were wondering…  Even if you are alone, as an adult I have found that you can still engage Hide-n-Seek.  I now officially play it with inanimate objects.  Just to name one.  How can you lose your water glass in an apartment?  All I know is that I am a pro at this.  From those who understand, can I hear an AMEN?!  It states in Job 12:12 with age comes wisdom. I’m still waiting for the wisdom to arrive.  I don’t know about you, but there are days that I wish God would send it with expedited, overnight shipping.  God clearly states that it is through our trails that we learn to grown & depend in and on Him.  Even in our aging & trials, you come to look at the world from a different perspective.  If you are blessed, it is through God’s lens of love. “For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is waisting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”   2 Corinthians 4:15-16.   

Thank you for walking with me & for the gifts of your love, support & prayers.  As you take that last sip of hot chocolate & bite of your Christmas cookie...  please think about who you can come along side & extend Christ-like love & compassion to?  You see the only real gift of value that we have to leave anyone else is Jesus Christ.   Our life can be very broken & messy, but it is what we learn through these valleys & trails that can blossom into Christ-like love.   This can allow us to share the fruits of the spirit that Jesus’ birth intended.  He came to give us abundant life, even in the valley. 

You do not know what the person beside you is going through.  Truly so many people are going through so much this Christmas Season.  Can you please continue to love Aubrey, Heather, Anna & Ewa beyond worms.  If you read my past post, you know that means to pray for them, right Mary?  Prayer is the best gift we can all give, right Saida?  Why sit in the waiting room when we can go to the Throne Room, right Pastor Ang?  “As for you brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.” 2Thessalonians 3:13