July 19 - Aug. 14, 2025 Thing & The Adam’s Family. A Helping Hand & The Dog Wash
July 19th - Aug. 14, 2025
Thing & The Adam’s Family.
A Helping Hand & The Dog Wash
Do you remember the TV Series called, “The Adams family”? For those who had TV’s, it first came into our living rooms in 1964. I remember going to my Uncle Medford & Aunt Alice’s house on Campobello Island to see a TV (television) for the first time. Yes I am that old & proud of it. It had what we called “Rabbit Ears” Television Antenna (dipole antenna). The “Rabbit Ears” were adjustable to help you be able to find the best reception you could… the best sound and fuzzy black & white picture that came through via the TV in that time period. How many of you remember the first time you saw TV. The “Rabbit Ears” were invented by Marvin P. Middlemark in 1953. We truly couldn’t believe the TV reception we had then. That snowy picture quality was a miracle to us. Can you hear the kids today if this was the quality now? My Uncle Medford was a very gifted man, so I am sure he had tweaked the antenna to its best performance. 🎭 When I say my Uncle Medford was gifted… though he did not graduate from high school, he received an Honorary Doctrate Degree of Science from the University of New Brunswick in 1974.
Jamie & I have had a “thing” for each other since our first date in the end of May 1979. This August 22’nd we will have been married 45 Years. It truly is by God’s love, mercy & grace that this was achieved. We’ve both learned so much about what love really is and what love is not. We haven’t killed each other, though if we both confessed we may have thought about it at times. 😂🤣 We are only human after all. Oh come on you all know what I mean.
Thoughts like: “If he does that again, I am going to kill him\her.” Ladies, you know when they say something like, “Are you having your period?” 🤯😡
And when really stressed after being embarrassed in front of your Friends, “When I get home I SWEAR I AM going to kill him\her.”
Through time I learned my “first resolve” was to go to God with all my crazy emotions when they flare up. God is the one who created me and the one who can tame the tiger in me. Second is to honestly confess the emotions that I am experiencing. Confession is good for the soul. Then I ask God what He wants me to do? It has amazed me the crazy, gut wrenching, counterintuitive things God tells me to do. Let’s just say that I am not always a good student! Once I decided that I was strong enough to wrestle with God head on. 🤦♀️ Some real pride there ordering my steps and NOT humility. I remember one distinct time I wrestled with Him for the better part of 4 days & 3 nights.
Each night and morning: I would ask Him, with a sarcastic tone, “You got anything for me today God?” Because the first answer He gave me just made me down right angry. 😡 Have you ever been there?
Each time I did this, God would say, “Paulette you can wrestle with me from here to eternity but you need to do what I have asked you. Read the book.”
Three nights had passed, with little sleep and much wrestling. Through the days I continued to stomp & snort because God was blatantly wrong with what he asked me to do. I have done some of my best cleaning when frustrated. It’s probably the cleanest our apartment has ever been. Except for when my friend, Joy blessed & surprised us. She had deep cleaned our apartment for when we came home from Mexico. This is where I had gone to learn about natural treatments for my cancer. Oh what a blessing it was to cross the finish line & come home to a clean & decorated apartment. You see we had been both very sick before we left to go. Satan always tries to make things difficult.
That 4th morning I was wrestling with God I asked, “Have you got anything for me God?” In a snarky, overtired, exhausted tone. I received the same consistent answer from God.
Finally in total frustration & fatigue I caved and said, “FINE! FINE! I’ll do it. I’ll read the book you asked me too!” Note this was done but not with an open heart. It was in a full out, I’ll prove to you it’s wrong.
You see God was responding to one of the deepest wounds, I had ever experienced. I had been splayed open in ways I can’t explain. It felt like I had had open heart surgery with no anesthetic. In other aspects it honestly felt like I could not breathe… let alone function. satan masterfully made me feel like I was alone in this battle for years. Sadly I let Him succeed. I wanted to protect everyone & including the person who had hurt me. I wanted to fix it and rescue the person too. I wanted to honor God in the process. Satan also tried to isolated me from my family & friends during these years. Sadly, I let him succeed at that too. It was true from my perspective and felt so real. Never underestimate the power of satan to deceive you. He does it little by little. BUT moreover NEVER DOUBT & FULLY TRUST GOD.
First I had to truly confess how I was feeling in the deepest place in my mind and heart, then God could look into my soul and suggest what He felt was needed as I was ready to receive. It was one of the hardest seasons in my life but most valuable lessons from God seasons too.
At first with great reservation I began to read the book, cry & sob and in all honesty felt sorry for myself. God will NOT attend a pity party. THIS IS WHERE YOU LEARN that He truly loves all His children equally, no matter the sin. He always answers our prayers in the way that is best for all involved and what is needed for each person’s healing process. God does not need to agree with you, but you do need to agree with God and fully cooperate with His will, no matter what the chaos around you is saying. God is in control even when the whole world around you feels out of control. Hold on tight to His righteous right hand.
You may not be surprised to learn that when I went back and read the book with God‘s eyes, this book became one of the deepest healing journeys of my life. I like to say that I went deep-sea scuba diving, with God as my oxygen. He took me back to my childhood and up through all my years to receive the fullest healing I could receive this side of Heaven. I was humbled many times over and learned to apply the same mercy and grace to those around me. This does not happen by pretending you are someone you are not. It is by you sharing your honest testimony and your journey with those that are hurting, in God‘s perfect timing. Notice I didn’t say in our timing because it is definitely in God‘s perfect timing. I got to watch a miracle in my life. It happen through the power of forgiveness. God transformed my life & someone else’s life. I watched this take place before my very eyes. Our God is the God of miracles. Our God is the God of healing & restoration. Our God is the God of forgiveness, true love, mercy and grace. Trust Him and trust His process, even when you do not understand. Even when you would like to be His favorite. It’s a very humbling lesson to learn that you were not His favorite. And a soul changing beautiful lesson to learn that He loves all His children equally. If you are in one of those breathless, dark places and feel like you can’t even breathe moments… my suggestion to you is to confess to God your true emotions… ask Him what he really wants you to do. Again in life, I have learned that it’s “not all about me”. Instead, it is about what you can learn from God and also do for someone else on your journey to help facility their journey to all the healing they too can receive this side of Heaven. Freedom in Christ. Through that excruciating journey, I buried the people pleaser, rescuer & fixer in mine. It is not my job to please people. It is my job to honor & please my Lord & King. It is his job to rescue & fix people NOT mine. The mother’s heart can mess with this truth so always seek God First!
Have you ever played fetch? Oh come on, confess that you have. Anyone who’s owned a dog… well the dog has trained them to first play fetch… and if really blessed vise-versa was accomplished at some point. Well Jamie’s & my new game is playing fetch. Seriously, whatever I drop he finds and gives it to me. Things change when you can’t bend down to pick things up. In more ways than you can imagine. Thank the Lord for “the grabber”. It is a PT tool to help.
Since my mobility has changed, we’ve had to reposition many things, so I could reach them from my stool in the sitting positions. For example, when sitting on my stool in the shower… FIRST, we had to figure out how to NOT make my face the main target of the shower when first turned on. 🚿 Shower-time can be a magical time, when things are positioned correctly or it can quickly become an obstacle course when they are not. Hanging on to the soap 🧼 in the shower 🚿 seemed to be a challenge for me. You can see how this could easily happen if you had no dish to set it in between scrubs. 🫧 Having a soap dish at the right height for my sitting perspective, to place the soap in between scrubs is essential. Jamie has rescued me several times. That’s when “Thing” from the Adams family appears with a bar of soap for me. A hand holding a bar of soap, pops in past the shower curtain. This hand is what reminded me of “Thing” on the Adams family. The difference is that my home version of “Thing” could pop up anywhere with the bar of soap. He has even succeeding in scaring me because I never know when & exactly where it will appear. “Shower Games” it is. We are waiting for an addition in our shower of a handheld shower nozzle at my height that I can use. Hum, I see perhaps a surprise spray attack ahead but don’t tell. Once that “dog wash” is installed look out. Oh come one, you know I nick-name things. A “dog wash” is perfect because at this point in time, I truly am Jamie’s pet who requires a lot of attention. He has volunteered for me more than either of us probably ever imagined. Well my needs got deeper lately, in ways I never expected.
August 1’st, I had the perfect storm of reactions to the new hormone blocker therapy pills that I had been taking since July 17th. From day one of taking this drug, I had symptoms… with every dose the side effects increased. The accumulation of the side effects in my body kept building up, until my body reached its breaking point. It was the most extreme pain that I’ve ever experienced in my life, on the left side of my head. It was like a hammer pounding on the side of my head while it was being held in a vice grip that just kept tightening. The anastrozole reaction affected my heart\blood pressure, sleep, memory, vision, ability to focus\concentrate, increased muscle & joint pain, no appetite, constant nausea, relentless fatigue, continuous headaches, and full body weakness at times. The drug chemically imbalanced my emotions the 16 days I took it. I reached a place where, I could not laugh, feel or smile. This was a place I swore I would NEVER go again, after going through cancer treatments in 2012-2013. When the day of the accumulation of side effects volcanically erupted, I must say it was terrifying as it affected so many modalities at once. One of the scariest side effects was my cognitive inability to speak what I was trying to say. 🥴 I would attempt to say a sentence… some of the words would come out completely different, than what I knew I was trying to saying. Also, I lost any clarity of vision and had double vision in my right eye to accompany me even when the fog & pain had cleared. Jamie said, this episode lasted for about 1+hours. Let’s just say that I stopped taking that medication immediately. It has been about 14 days since I stopped taking the medication. I am hoping my body will continue to heal a little each day from whatever this episode was. Some of the side effects unfortunately have remained but are slowly improving. Honestly, it was one of the scariest things that I have ever had happen. When most of your modalities are affected at the same time, you don’t understand what is happening. You hit survival mode fast. Here is where you can let God carry you and He does!
Since the reaction, it’s like being someone in their late 80s or early 90s trying to learn about today’s technology. I have to try to concentrate to complete most tasks. When it comes to doing things that I have always taken for granted like writing ✍️… it has taken a new kind of focus & concentration to accomplish… one that I have no adequate words for as, I am still adapting & learning. It’s also exhausting because each step requires deeper concentration and deeper thought to attempt to complete. I said to Jamie once, I believe this is what some of my students felt like who had multiple disabilities to conquer each day to do the basic required tasks. I always had great respect for how much effort they placed into completing each task. Now I have a deep admiration for their courage to face each day when dealing with their handicaps.
Speaking of modalities of learning & living, I’d like to state that neither Jamie’s or my hearing has improved.
We were watching a TV show and I said, “This reminds me of “Beat the Clock”. Jamie had gone to the kitchen to get us a snack when I said it.
His response was, “You want to see Spock?”
I said, “Seriously, what did you think I’d said?”
He repeated, “You want to see Spock?”
I am not sure if he was talking Star Trek Spock or Dr. Spock at this point.
Seriously it just keeps getting better. Hearing deficits are real. Right now, I am waiting for “Scotty to Beam me up”.
Jamie’s pet is me indeed! The “dog wash” was installed especially for me, when I shower now sitting down. A rich blessing. You know me, I nickname everything, so please don’t be offended. It means my humor is back intact again. The God Story of the “dog wash” was that a student I used to teach installed it. Life really does come full circle. Thank you Edward! Look for the blessings in the volcanic eruptions because they are there. You can bet that I don’t take speaking, writing or my vision for granted any more. I know to a greater degree how blessed I am to have them. I also now have a deeper compassion for others who struggle in these areas. God has been letting me use my own special education degree to help myself with the rehabilitation phase. We serve an awesome God.
On August 12th I saw my oncologist. She was kind, listened, had compassion and she held space for my emotions as I shared what had happened on Aug. 1’st. She validated that the medication had caused all my issues and also validated that I had done the right thing by stopping the medication, when it happened. She has ordered an MRI of my head. Haven’t you always wanted to know what your brain really looks like? Well this will be my second peek. I will be front & center and find out soon enough what mine looks like now on an MRI. We are in hopes of having answers to what happened the day of the perfect storm of reactions struck on Aug. 1’st. I have a month off from everything and then need to make decisions. Three choices pray for whether it will be door #1, #2 or #3 and that God gives us his divine wisdom.
You can bet that Jamie & I will appreciate our upcoming 45th Wedding Anniversary on a deeper level than ever before. We are truly grateful for all the Lord has brought us through. Have we been unscathed……no, but God has taught us much and our love just grows deeper. The valleys are necessary to teach us & draw us closer to God. We are closer to each other & God than we’ve ever been. Our moments together are deep blessings. We all have a story and we all have blessings to count.
So when you choose “your pet for life”, choose wisely. Pray about it and seek God’s face. Your life will come full circle too. God has honored my choice in so many ways that I can’t explain. Our God is the God of forgiveness, restoration, truth, love, mercy & grace. My prayer is that our marriage will reflect touches of Our Master’s Hand.
I want to thank each of you for your acts of kindness & gift of prayers for Jamie & I and our family. Now you will understand, just how deeply a difference they have been making. Thank you for those of you who reached out. God’s timing has been perfect for each text message or deed. I can’t mention them all as I would be afraid that I would forget someone. I can tell you that each of them touched my heart and many brought grateful tears to my eyes.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ
Galatians 6:2
