His Grace, My Journey

Christmas for Us - Dec. 15, 2012 December 29, 2012 Peace on Earth or Peace of Mind Poop Happens Sometimes you have to tell it just as it is. As promised with this last chemo treatment, it was a much harder session for the first 8 days.    A lot more nausea this time, bowel issues, bone pain… and even my fingernails hurts.    They say that some people’s fingernails will fall out with the new frenamee (chemo) drug they have started me on (Taxotere).    A lot goes with this journey and as much as one tries to prepare there are things you just must bear, as God helps you to blossom into a the person that He would have you become.    One who will be solid and work for the cause of Christ no matter the cost.    There are labor pains with this journey, just as with childbearing.     We know that Christ paid the ultimate cost and nothing we suffer is greater than that which He suffered on the cross for us all.    Christm...

Meet Mary.  We are both Breast Cancer Survivors Love you beyond Worms Mary!   If you know you know.  Monday, Dec. 10th, 2012 Subjects: Chemo Brain\fog USPO or Fraggle Rock (Mary); Charlie is Out?!?! My intention is to bring a smile to all of your hearts, as you rush through the business of the Holiday Season.   If you can't learn to laugh at yourself then you are missing out on a lot of joy that God brings.   To the teachers, happy storm day and I hope this brings some joy to your day. There is one subject that I have seemed to have forgotten to journal about… seriously I forgot to… chemo brain\fog.  As I journal my way through the cancer, this is one subject area that should not be forgotten.   Oh yes, chemo brain\fog really does exist and it is quite an experience in itself.    Chemo brain\fog is a bad memory on steroids.   What you need to know about me is that I was memory challenged before chemo.  Amazing at...

Picture Dec. 15, 2012 My Dad & I  The only time my Dad had more hair than me. Did you ever wonder what Christmas would look like, if we took all the earthly pressures away, that we create during this holiday season?   You know the ones we do, in our attempt to make it an extra special season for our friends, family and loved ones.  What would really happen if we didn’t find that perfect gift, bake that favorite pie or cookies?  What if we didn’t get all those decorations out that have been our family traditions and passed down through the generations?   In the business of the season, we have all thought it at one moment or another…  how will I fit everything in?  Regretfully, it sometimes can cheat us from the true underlying joy of the season.  Wouldn’t it be astounding to just sit back and let it happen on its own…    the season God really intended it to be for us to celebrate… the ...

Nov. 11, 2012  Powerful Words of encouragement and truth from my Cousin Davine.  Very wise words, from someone who has been in the illness valley for 61\2 years.  We go through our trials to help someone else and she is sending that Christ-like love to me, through this email below.  It is done with heartfelt compassion, That only comes from where she has walked.  Love you Cuz more than I can say in words. Dear Paulette, First : I so hope your body handles this treatment better then the last and that it runs through with much more ease for you. Paulette I believe we are not given any thing we can not handle, but there are days we believe we can't. Moments we wish or wonder why we chose a certain path, but know it is the right path, if you have taken it. I wish for you with all my heart so much comfort on your most difficult days and the ability to see the light at the end of the day, even if it feels so far away, because some days it can FEEL a million miles...

Nov. 1 &  Nov. 7, 2012  (Chemo\Frenamee Treatment #2) There’s a Porcupine in the Sink  And Chitty Chatty Bang Bang                       The dawn of my 2’nd chemo\frenamee treatment had come at last.   They had told us to get our head shaved when our hair started to fall out and to be sure you purchased a soft brush.  I kind of chuckled to myself as my  head thought why…. why would I need a soft brush?  Back on the rabbit trail here…. I got up and showered in anticipation of my day with Aunt Elaine & Uncle Kevin for frenamee treatment #2.    Hum, not only was my head shaved close but what remained resembled a porcupine.  My scalp hurt a little after taking my shower, so I leaned forward to brush my head with the  soft  brush and some of my porcupine spills started falling out of my scalp.  Just to imagine, that ...

Aunt Sonja & I July 2012 Do you ever have one of those days when you are out of sorts, but just can’t put your finger on why.  Those are the days that I figure God is trying to tell me something, but I am not so receptive on the listening end.  You see one of my weakness is to “be still and know that He is God.”  It is my human desire to do things in my time, though my heart knows it is always God’s timing that is perfect.  There are so many moments, days and weeks that contain firsts’, in the land of cancer.   Actually they aren’t firsts in your head, because you have been introduced to the concept that they will happen by being taught or having read about them through the material you have been provided with.  Ah yes, but then to experience them is what makes it truly a first in your heart.  Your brain tries to absorb everything you are reading and what they have attempted to teach you, but with “chemo fog”...

    Trials Can B loom  Into Blessings -  Meeting Baby Owen   SEPT 19th-28th,  2012 It was a long day at the hospital on Sept. 18th but God was so good to allow me to get all the tests I needed done in  one  day   (Chest X-ray, ultra sound of my organs, bone scan) my initial meeting with Dr. Mohiuddin [radiation oncologist] & initial meeting with Dr. Burnell [chemo oncologist] and blood work.   Jamie's first full day off was a busy day at the hospital with me, but we felt blessed to be able to be together.   My heart sees through his deeds, how much he truly loves me.  Honestly, it was an overwhelming day trying to comprehend all that had been done and shared with us.  We arrived at the hospital  at 8:30am  and by the time I had the required blood draw for my chemo panel it was  5:45pm .  At first, my mind was befuddled with trying to understand & process these things.   This is when satan l...